OK, I want you to think back to where you've been and to all the struggles you had in getting here. At some point, maybe that's even now, you can drop everything and fly without a net, but don't mess with yourself until you know. Consider yourself very fortunate, and live life as fully as you can.

Perhaps I do know what you're talking about. I take Rituxan, which involves infrequent infusions, and I've been considering postponing my next treatment. I did that last time (nearly 8 months instead of 6), thinking perhaps I can just keep walking into the sunset, but then I think about all I want to accomplish. I know for a fact that my life wouldn't be anywhere near as full had it not been for my drug treatments, and I have a lot of stuff to do before I start messing with it.

Just sayin'.

doug

I agree with Doug, think back to how you were feeling pre enbrel and pre anti depressants. We all seem to have a memory lapse of the horriffic pain we suffered once we begin to respond to our medications. It is easy to feel you are okay now and need nothing to continue to feel that way. Maybe you can approach your shot in a different way. Say on shot day you treat yourself to a pedicure or a massage or anything that makes you happy. Then you will notbe so stressed about the shot because you will be thinking beyond it? Please listen to your doc and don't do anything foolish. I want to hear you feel good! hugs, marcia

Hi Caspiana, I hear you. When I was on Enbrel and Humira and IM MTX for that matter I dreaded sticking myself. Now I am on Orencia and when I have to miss a dose for even a feww days my body will not tolerate it. The stiffness and pain sets in. So.. listen to doug and Marcia and the doctor. If something works continue with it. We all want you to feel as well as you can.

Hey Caspiana,
I know what you are going through, I've been there. I still get that feeling every half year or so and like you, at times when I am feeling good. What I normally do then is not take Naproxen in the morning ( I take one daily after breakfast). Before noon the pain has not subsided as it normally does and I regret not taking Naproxen and swallow one at lunch. It's my way for getting a reality check, making me realize why I take the painkillers and MTX.

It sounds like a lot of us go through this once in a while and we all find our own way of dealing with it. I hope you find your way soon.
Take care,
Ferhaan

Hi, there's always something about this disease that is a real challenge & pain in the butt! Even when we're doing well it doesn't mean the challenges are over.

There's something about sticking myself with a needle that I find really off-putting. I too want to postpone taking MTX or Enbrel & mentally count down the days until my next shot. I think there's some sort of psychology to it, in my mind I view it as quite confronting. It's like I have to inflict more pain on my body by giving myself a shot, and although the pain is so little compared with the RA pain that we've experienced, it somehow just gets that thought going in my head that I really don't want to do it. I nearly hear myself pleading,'...but haven't I been thru enough?!' And it also reminds me that I've got this dreadful disease. So, I try to psyche myself into it & (as Marcia has suggested above) have a treat ready when I've given myself the shot (treat of choice can be anything, my preference is a french pastry or delicious berries).

But how fantastic that you feel so good at the moment and that the drugs are working. I hope that you can be kind to yourself & gently remind yourself that even though you feel so good now that it's most probably due to the drugs and that's what's working for you.

All the best with taking your next shot.

I can relate, I've come to dread the needles, blood draws, and previously the infusions....there is a part of me that screams inside "it's not fair...why me" but I press on, sometimes however it's very hard to do so. My saving grace is that I can say this here and know that you guys/girls understand.
Also, I still don't understand what the difference is between a medication induced remission and a true remission or if there is even a difference. I wonder if there can ever be a time when I am feeling well without medication again?

I know how you feel - I get rebellious against this crappy disease. It makes no sense, but a few years ago I went off all my meds and kind of gave my RA (the middle finger)...lol...stupid I know...but I was SO SICK of meds...well 6 weeks later I was back on my meds! I would love to experiment with a diet plan that might help ease off all this toxic medicine...but it is so hard to eat no wheat and no dairy and only fruit and veggies and nuts (the Adam and Eve diet)...you basically cannot eat out ever - but I want to give it a try and see if it might help. The Eat to Live Dr says it will. Too bad I like chocolate so much!

hang in there, who knows, maybe someday a cure will be presented. I have been in a few RA studies with my siblings. My sister and brother have RA also, my older brotrher may have it but he smokes pot all the time so maybe he just doesn't feel any pain! lol

I can def relate to this. I hate the thought of being bound to medications everyday for the rest of my life. Sometimes when I am feeling particularly good, I consider going off all the meds.

I have tried this once in the past, I went about two months and suddenly I woke unable to walk. It struck me that I can' function without my meds. I had to spend weeks trying to get myself back into order, while being in intense pain.

When you have to take meds on a daily basis you begin to associate yourself with a sick person, and it becomes part of your identity.

Yikes I am not even on the needle yet and have been dreading it. I was hoping you get used to it with time and it stopped bothering you.....

All of this is such an encouragement to me....I surely understand your frustration, because I haven't even started the Orencia my Dr. is recommended because I'm so concerned about side effects and the monthly infusions.
I keep telling myself that the Arava and Plaquenil are enough. (They have made a difference if I look back and compare how I was at the start)...but I still deal with the fatigue, pain, and stiffness every single day. I want to be as courageous as you....even though you dread the days, you are far braver that you give yourself credit for.

I agree....if you are feeling better over all, then just keep on' keepin' on.

I wish you well. -Caroline

Caspiana,

I agree that you shouldn't stop taking your enbrel. I have read that the longer you joints get a break from pain and inflammation, the less likelihood that pain and inflammation will come back. So keep that in mind. It does benefit you to stay pain free for as long as you can, even if the injections are awful which I'm sorry to hear.
hugs,
Sarah

I'm on Humira, and I always have a fair amount of anxiety on the day I take it. However, I once read that delaying or skipping a dose makes one more likely to build up antibodies against the medication, making it less and less effective. So for me, that's incentive for giving myself the injection on time. Still, I always wish there was a pill or a cream instead of a needle.

Well, I think we all do this from time to time. Look at Sanya Richards, she was also not too long ago where you are, stopped the meds, and had a horrible flare. I would say if you really want to go off to have the chance to see if it could possibly be a long-term remission, be emotionally prepared for either outcome and willing to return to treatment. None of us like all this crap (pardon me), it sucks. I feel like at some point if I attain remission I might also try it.. In the end it is your choice. I would say I would not personally do it given your length of remission. If I were stable and in remission for a year, two years, then I might consider it. Also, if you have come to dread this treatment, maybe there would be an alternative to which you wouldn't feel that way? Ultimately, I am sure that emotionally we all NEED that thread of hope, of possibility, to believe we could be cured tomorrow. It helps us get through today. ((((HUGS MY DEAR))),

Heather

Caspiana I can sure relate. But let me tell you back in May I had to go off my Enbrel and Methx. due to infections and in just two and a half months I saw my Rheumatologist in a wheelchair. It was a really bad time for me. My rheumy started me back on my Enbrel and I recently started back on my Methx. I have never been so glad to get a shot in my life. lol My knees are still pretty bad and my right arm joints. Hopefully in time I'll get back to where I used to be.
So just think back to where you were before you started the Enbrel. You don't want to go back to that place. Hugs~ Linda

Hi all you wonderful people. I have read through all your replies one by one slowly and I have slapped myself on the forehead several times. Of course i'm feeling good because of the medicine. I stopped to think back what I was like this time last year and I was not the same person. I couldn't sleep at night due to the stiffness and pain, I couldn't walk more than a few meters without my knees screaming, I could certainly not swim any laps, I couldn't raise my arms above my head, I couldn't sit on the floor, I couldn't ride my bicycle, I couldn't drive my car safely because of my stiff fingers or roll down the window because my elbows were so painful. Who am I kidding? RA may go into remission but it's not going to disappear so, until my dr. advises me otherwise, I am going to dutifully keep taking my meds. Thank you all so much for your concern and love. *hugs*