This is a great question Matt and one I have been mulling over since you posted. I hope for me that 2012 will be about the pursuit of ''life'. I have come to realise / believe over the past couple of years that life is about feeling all of the feelings that life will inevitably throw at us. To be truly alive, I think, is about not running from those feelings, not blocking them out, ignoring them nor dwelling on them, but to embrace them, feel them and incorporate them. I think, for me, that is what I want to do more of this year. I hope that it will be 'better' because I am in tune with myself enough to face feelings and then feel them and then not ignore them. ( i am not sure this makes sense! It kind of does to me, but maybe I will post next December 31st and let you know where I have got up to!)

2011 was all about keeping my head down and surviving. I feel really good about 2012 - I feel like 2012 will be about lifting my face to feel the sun and living again.

The man that hurt me doesn't deserve my forgiveness. I deserve my forgiveness. That is what I would like to work on this year.

i am finally letting myself be vulnerable. i have been fighting - in trial, against a closed minded town, to recover from a horrible horse accident, to live...fighting to be strong. this year, i will be vulnerable. i will feel all the emotions that i had to push back in order to survive. and, i will accept help and ask for help...which does not come easily to me. i have been crying for months now...and i now know it's ok. it's time to let it out. it will take a long time...but i will let it out this year. it's time to grieve.

i like the idea of actually being proud of my difficult times....

that has really got me thinking.

This year, 2012, will be a better year because I will be healthier. I do not have a resolution to lose weight, I have the well rounded desire to make myself healthier by using exercise, not xanax, to relieve anxiety, stress and depression. My husband and I are working really hard to be even better for each other. Those are hard times, but they will prove worthy. This year will be better because I am continuing to be a better mom. I will be a better nurse this year, because one more year of experience will make me able to help others in a better way than I have before. This year will be better because I will continue to take risks emotionally and however they turn out, be proud that I was even able to allow myself to go there.

Since Dec, I have made all these things start into action. Even my T told me last session, based on my own actions, that "2012 will be my year." Bring it.

2011 for me was about gaining independence, I got a new job, moved out into my own apartment which has been wonderful. I also did a lot of work in 2011 in therapy, a lot of work and I feel I accomplished a lot.

2012 I want to focus on school so I can be that much closer to becoming a nurse. This year I want to be able to talk more openly about stuff that happened to me as a kid to my friend Kathleen. She has been a huge support for me and I know I need to talk about it still and she is willing to listen, I want to feel those emotions that I always try and hide, and be okay with sitting with those emotions. I now know that even if I have a bad day or a bad week I will be able to pick myself up and carry on, but I need to work on reassuring myself that when I am feeling down or emotional. I think 2012 will be a great year! Oh and Matt I am still holding onto my loose weight and be healthier lol I want to do that too!!!

2011 for me was about gaining independence, I got a new job, moved out into my own apartment which has been wonderful. I also did a lot of work in 2011 in therapy, a lot of work and I feel I accomplished a lot.

2012 I want to focus on school so I can be that much closer to becoming a nurse. This year I want to be able to talk more openly about stuff that happened to me as a kid to my friend Kathleen. She has been a huge support for me and I know I need to talk about it still and she is willing to listen, I want to feel those emotions that I always try and hide, and be okay with sitting with those emotions. I now know that even if I have a bad day or a bad week I will be able to pick myself up and carry on, but I need to work on reassuring myself that when I am feeling down or emotional. I think 2012 will be a great year! Oh and Matt I am still holding onto my loose weight and be healthier lol I want to do that too!!!

2011 for me was about gaining independence, I got a new job, moved out into my own apartment which has been wonderful. I also did a lot of work in 2011 in therapy, a lot of work and I feel I accomplished a lot.

2012 I want to focus on school so I can be that much closer to becoming a nurse. This year I want to be able to talk more openly about stuff that happened to me as a kid to my friend Kathleen. She has been a huge support for me and I know I need to talk about it still and she is willing to listen, I want to feel those emotions that I always try and hide, and be okay with sitting with those emotions. I now know that even if I have a bad day or a bad week I will be able to pick myself up and carry on, but I need to work on reassuring myself that when I am feeling down or emotional. I think 2012 will be a great year! Oh and Matt I am still holding onto my loose weight and be healthier lol I want to do that too!!!

2011 for me was about gaining independence, I got a new job, moved out into my own apartment which has been wonderful. I also did a lot of work in 2011 in therapy, a lot of work and I feel I accomplished a lot.

2012 I want to focus on school so I can be that much closer to becoming a nurse. This year I want to be able to talk more openly about stuff that happened to me as a kid to my friend Kathleen. She has been a huge support for me and I know I need to talk about it still and she is willing to listen, I want to feel those emotions that I always try and hide, and be okay with sitting with those emotions. I now know that even if I have a bad day or a bad week I will be able to pick myself up and carry on, but I need to work on reassuring myself that when I am feeling down or emotional. I think 2012 will be a great year! Oh and Matt I am still holding onto my loose weight and be healthier lol I want to do that too!!!

2011 for me was about gaining independence, I got a new job, moved out into my own apartment which has been wonderful. I also did a lot of work in 2011 in therapy, a lot of work and I feel I accomplished a lot.

2012 I want to focus on school so I can be that much closer to becoming a nurse. This year I want to be able to talk more openly about stuff that happened to me as a kid to my friend Kathleen. She has been a huge support for me and I know I need to talk about it still and she is willing to listen, I want to feel those emotions that I always try and hide, and be okay with sitting with those emotions. I now know that even if I have a bad day or a bad week I will be able to pick myself up and carry on, but I need to work on reassuring myself that when I am feeling down or emotional. I think 2012 will be a great year! Oh and Matt I am still holding onto my loose weight and be healthier lol I want to do that too!!!

The differences in my life have already begun. You already know I have huge issues with allowing (pursuing) certain emotions. I am convinced that, like lifting my arms, there is a positive way to push past this issue. So, outside of my normal fashion of management, I decided (and have been quite successful so far), to use more positive means of reinforcement, and diversion techniques. I decided, in short, to listen to my wiser mind. To trust my own thoughts. To believe in the part of myself that speaks with sensibility. That part of me is more tolerant OF me, and I decided to make an effort toward finding positive music to listen to. And I have. Each day, I start out with a song. I listen to each word. And then I determine how I can use it to lift my spirits. Music is a very integral part of my day. It moves me to deeper thought and introspection if I allow it.

This week, I found two songs I find helpful. One by "Red" called Not Alone, and one by "Safetysuit" called These Times.

I break down each song and actually seek meaning FOR me in the lyrics. One entire day, I found success in escaping self harm, when I would usually have easily gone that way. The end result was a huge dose of pride in my ability to hold off a decades old habit.

I'm going to be accountable to myself. When I am not able, I'm going to be honest with Dr. Chandler about it. I'm going to dig deep and believe in the trust I have built with him. I'm learning to say what I feel about things I generally would give in to, then regret. I'm finding my voice, believing it, and pushing for the strength to speak out.

And that is just the beginning!! :-)

So, I have been thinking about this a whole lot. This year I am caring for myself. In the sense of nurturing myself, having compassion for myself, and trusting myself. I am (working on) trying to allow myself to feel whatever I feel and roll with it. My intention is to have grace and to find acceptance for myself and others on a level that I have not done before.

I want to stop living my life based on my fears. I want to drop the ego, and catch my breath. Again, grace.

I want to be reliable again; to others and myself. When I say I will do something actually do it. Not being reliable undercuts my efforts to heal. It gives my negative voice room to expand and sound off

I will understand and respect my own boundaries and require that others do also. I will ask for and accept help when I need it and not feel as if I am a burden for doing so. I will be more open to showing my vulnerabilities instead of allowing others to assume I can handle whatever comes my way. I will be softer and more forgiving.