Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
As we all start to anticipate the 2012 retreat, there are a few things I can't help but say because, well you know, I'm annoying that way.
A couple of ideas and some advice:
First, as people begin to plan travel, keep a couple of things in mind. It's obviously not possible for every traveler to also solve the travel needs of every other friend of theirs, so inevitably we'll find that some travel arrangements are solved while others aren't. Everyone please bear in mind that this is just how things happen when large groups make complicated plans. We have plenty of time to work on solutions to travel issues, but in the mean time please have a spirit of patience and bear in mind the importance of not taking it personally when there are any preliminary "gaps". In other words, not every person's plans will be immediately settled, so don't worry that an "unsettled" plan this far in advance has anything to do with your ROLE in this community. "other peoples' rides don't have room for me" is not the same thing as "other people don't like me/I'm not included, etc." It'd be awesome to have a simple transport solution that included everyone from every region altogether somehow, but the Hogwarts Express just don't run over here way. :)
Second, please approach the retreat with its purpose in mind. It is intended to be social, but it is intended to be so much MORE than that. May 2012 is not "go and hang out with the group...oh yeah, and do that Retreat thing too." The retreat is something many people work HARD to offer as a time and place of solace, spirituality, healing, and growth, not just merriment. Please make those goals foremost. To be blunt about it, I'm straight-up asking that people arrive in Oklahoma eager to use the time for those goals; it's the best way to honor the countless hours of volunteerism and hard work that a lot of people put into this to try to offer an opportunity for personal growth.
Last, please remember that solidarity is an essential part of survivorhood. In the times when people DO entertain, please remember to include the others. I'm asking that we not do "invitation-only" entertainment, because the people who aren't invited do indeed notice, and they do indeed feel it.
Now, let's talk about some retreat possibilities.
Stillwater has a superb ropes course that I'd love to consider. It's safe and exciting, and adds something creative we haven't done before, and it accommodates all fitness levels. Check it out at http://campusrec.okstate.edu/outdooradventure/challengecourse and tell me what you think. We could book the entire course for ourselves.
Other ideas?
A couple of ideas and some advice:
First, as people begin to plan travel, keep a couple of things in mind. It's obviously not possible for every traveler to also solve the travel needs of every other friend of theirs, so inevitably we'll find that some travel arrangements are solved while others aren't. Everyone please bear in mind that this is just how things happen when large groups make complicated plans. We have plenty of time to work on solutions to travel issues, but in the mean time please have a spirit of patience and bear in mind the importance of not taking it personally when there are any preliminary "gaps". In other words, not every person's plans will be immediately settled, so don't worry that an "unsettled" plan this far in advance has anything to do with your ROLE in this community. "other peoples' rides don't have room for me" is not the same thing as "other people don't like me/I'm not included, etc." It'd be awesome to have a simple transport solution that included everyone from every region altogether somehow, but the Hogwarts Express just don't run over here way. :)
Second, please approach the retreat with its purpose in mind. It is intended to be social, but it is intended to be so much MORE than that. May 2012 is not "go and hang out with the group...oh yeah, and do that Retreat thing too." The retreat is something many people work HARD to offer as a time and place of solace, spirituality, healing, and growth, not just merriment. Please make those goals foremost. To be blunt about it, I'm straight-up asking that people arrive in Oklahoma eager to use the time for those goals; it's the best way to honor the countless hours of volunteerism and hard work that a lot of people put into this to try to offer an opportunity for personal growth.
Last, please remember that solidarity is an essential part of survivorhood. In the times when people DO entertain, please remember to include the others. I'm asking that we not do "invitation-only" entertainment, because the people who aren't invited do indeed notice, and they do indeed feel it.
Now, let's talk about some retreat possibilities.
Stillwater has a superb ropes course that I'd love to consider. It's safe and exciting, and adds something creative we haven't done before, and it accommodates all fitness levels. Check it out at http://campusrec.okstate.edu/outdooradventure/challengecourse and tell me what you think. We could book the entire course for ourselves.
Other ideas?
Seriously, I KNOW a lot of people are going to have apprehensions about this, but read under the FAQ, particularly the "Do I Have to do it if I Don't Want To?" part. SO MUCH is related to survivorhood.
Just today, in my reading of my story, Gill had to remind me (while I moaned and bitched about starting over every time) that it's not the goal of getting it done, it's the journey and the baby steps made along the way showing growth. This could be really good for people. If you don't want to do it, how fun would it be to just cheer others on? :)
The whole solidarity part of that post above, I don't think there should be any doubt in your mind what this retreat means to us, and that it's MUCH more than a social event. I get how our shenanigans in planning might freak you out a bit, but we all come with open hearts to new experiences and look for the growth also. Not to mention, the planning just makes us giddy, so we kinda act up anyway, lol.
But really, if you have any specifics in mind that haven't set well with you, or has made you feel that the retreat has been misused or the focus has not been there, please tell us, or message people directly also. I'm not planning on behaving or preparing any differently than I have in the past few years so this kinda message makes me wonder...
Thanks
Actually, my reaction was similar to yours: it scares me to death, but why not at least try?
Matt, when would we do this? It sounds like it requires a time commitment of most of a day, or would we not spend as much time there? Would it be a Thursday activity?
I am with Scoobs on the other things you talked about. I would hope that we still come with a reverence for the sanctity and the healing the retreat brings. I hope that you don't think that the plannings around it detract from it. Please do say though, if you feel it is getting out of hand.
I cannot fully express the spiritual aspect of the retreat means to me. There are a few days in the year when I wake up and think 'I could so do with a sweatlodge soon' - not because I need to meet with my tribe (which of course I wish for often), but because I feel I need a connection with the divine that I sometimes find hard in other contexts.
But seriously, knock off the drunken lap dancing.
Since I'm not even invited.
And we'll cool it on the drunken lap dancing, cause no... You'll never be invited to that. Sorry.
I was worried about fitting in and I had nothing to worry about. It does help that I am so darn lovable of course ;) But, seriously, everyone is more than welcoming. If you don't want to actively participate in an activity or conversation, you aren't left out in the cold; there is still a sense of being part of the group and people being aware of you in a considerate manner.
Matt, how did you find out about the lap dancing? Who broke the fight club code?? :)