Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
As we all start to anticipate the 2012 retreat, there are a few things I can't help but say because, well you know, I'm annoying that way.
A couple of ideas and some advice:
First, as people begin to plan travel, keep a couple of things in mind. It's obviously not possible for every traveler to also solve the travel needs of every other friend of theirs, so inevitably we'll find that some travel arrangements are solved while others aren't. Everyone please bear in mind that this is just how things happen when large groups make complicated plans. We have plenty of time to work on solutions to travel issues, but in the mean time please have a spirit of patience and bear in mind the importance of not taking it personally when there are any preliminary "gaps". In other words, not every person's plans will be immediately settled, so don't worry that an "unsettled" plan this far in advance has anything to do with your ROLE in this community. "other peoples' rides don't have room for me" is not the same thing as "other people don't like me/I'm not included, etc." It'd be awesome to have a simple transport solution that included everyone from every region altogether somehow, but the Hogwarts Express just don't run over here way. :)
Second, please approach the retreat with its purpose in mind. It is intended to be social, but it is intended to be so much MORE than that. May 2012 is not "go and hang out with the group...oh yeah, and do that Retreat thing too." The retreat is something many people work HARD to offer as a time and place of solace, spirituality, healing, and growth, not just merriment. Please make those goals foremost. To be blunt about it, I'm straight-up asking that people arrive in Oklahoma eager to use the time for those goals; it's the best way to honor the countless hours of volunteerism and hard work that a lot of people put into this to try to offer an opportunity for personal growth.
Last, please remember that solidarity is an essential part of survivorhood. In the times when people DO entertain, please remember to include the others. I'm asking that we not do "invitation-only" entertainment, because the people who aren't invited do indeed notice, and they do indeed feel it.
Now, let's talk about some retreat possibilities.
Stillwater has a superb ropes course that I'd love to consider. It's safe and exciting, and adds something creative we haven't done before, and it accommodates all fitness levels. Check it out at http://campusrec.okstate.edu/outdooradventure/challengecourse and tell me what you think. We could book the entire course for ourselves.
Other ideas?
A couple of ideas and some advice:
First, as people begin to plan travel, keep a couple of things in mind. It's obviously not possible for every traveler to also solve the travel needs of every other friend of theirs, so inevitably we'll find that some travel arrangements are solved while others aren't. Everyone please bear in mind that this is just how things happen when large groups make complicated plans. We have plenty of time to work on solutions to travel issues, but in the mean time please have a spirit of patience and bear in mind the importance of not taking it personally when there are any preliminary "gaps". In other words, not every person's plans will be immediately settled, so don't worry that an "unsettled" plan this far in advance has anything to do with your ROLE in this community. "other peoples' rides don't have room for me" is not the same thing as "other people don't like me/I'm not included, etc." It'd be awesome to have a simple transport solution that included everyone from every region altogether somehow, but the Hogwarts Express just don't run over here way. :)
Second, please approach the retreat with its purpose in mind. It is intended to be social, but it is intended to be so much MORE than that. May 2012 is not "go and hang out with the group...oh yeah, and do that Retreat thing too." The retreat is something many people work HARD to offer as a time and place of solace, spirituality, healing, and growth, not just merriment. Please make those goals foremost. To be blunt about it, I'm straight-up asking that people arrive in Oklahoma eager to use the time for those goals; it's the best way to honor the countless hours of volunteerism and hard work that a lot of people put into this to try to offer an opportunity for personal growth.
Last, please remember that solidarity is an essential part of survivorhood. In the times when people DO entertain, please remember to include the others. I'm asking that we not do "invitation-only" entertainment, because the people who aren't invited do indeed notice, and they do indeed feel it.
Now, let's talk about some retreat possibilities.
Stillwater has a superb ropes course that I'd love to consider. It's safe and exciting, and adds something creative we haven't done before, and it accommodates all fitness levels. Check it out at http://campusrec.okstate.edu/outdooradventure/challengecourse and tell me what you think. We could book the entire course for ourselves.
Other ideas?
The first year that I went - I just wanted to connect with other people and see that I am not alone. You know that I did. It was all in the eyes. That was my goal. I was like a deer in headlights.
Last year, my goal was to talk to Matt. I did that. My goal was to talk more with people. I did that, too. They were not lofty goals, but important to me.
I have a personal goal this year which at this point may be a bit much at this point, but hey, I have nine months!!
Yes, it is about friendship. These people are like my family.
In regards to drunken lap dancing - is there a lot of after-hours bar hopping that happens?
For me, i spent a lot of time focussing on my travel arrangements..visualising each step as best i could because travelling across the pond for the first time ever and alone.. That was my biggest anxiety. I had a sense of peace when i decided to do the retreat like i was going home and it would just work out so, oddly, i didn't really feel nervous of attending.
I have a few goals for next year like not isolating myself when what i really need is support and i'll probably manage that with all the work i'm doing in therapy. So my advice would be to use your therapy to help you reach any personal goals for the retreat. Talk over your anxieties. Matt kept talking about preparing ourselves for the experience and i didn't quite get it or, i was so focussed on the travel aspect i overlooked it. But i understand now what he meant. If there are anxieties or goals you want to reach you can work on those in the run up.
Also, rope course sounds ace. I may babysit the bags if it gets too scary but i'm up for up at least trying
I still feel sorta bad that Hep got Arby's for her first American meal...we need to make that right next year.
As for goals and expectations, we all have our own and really each and every one of us will be different. Whether you share your goals or not, I hope the people thinking about coming for the first time will find us respectful, generous and accommodating of each and every one of you. That has been my experience on both the retreats I have been on.