Reasons To Keep On Keepin On ! Community Group
This group is here to encourage, and uplift you when you are feeling down. To provide reasons to keep going, and not give up.Things to inspire you, make you smile, make you feel better. To be a beacon of light in a dark night.Help to rediscover your dreams. Positive thoughts to put wind in your sails, wind beneath your wings again ! Some sunshine on a cloudy day !To help...
A Paraprosdopkian (Gotta Love this one)
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax
Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way, So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on the list.
Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',
Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
Ø How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... Not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay cheques.
Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".
Ø
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it, so I said "Implants?"
Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another man
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax
Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way, So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on the list.
Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',
Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
Ø How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... Not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay cheques.
Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".
Ø
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it, so I said "Implants?"
Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another man
We had a man come into our office at a place I used to work. He requested and turned in his application. I glanced down at his form. In the space where it says what position are you applying for he wrote: "WOK."
My boss told me to call him and refer him to an Asian restaurant or supply outlet, we were a carpet distribution center. Sigh. The next day a woman walked in to apply wearing a black pegnoir set, I was starting to wonder where I worked....