Ferr, I am sending you a bunch of hugs and can certainly understand why you need them. It must be so hard to see others in the same condition we were at one time and how sad to lose that woman despite all efforts.

Hard to believe it's been 11 months for me and the bilteral PEs are still there and the Dr seems to think I may have them forever. Ugh. I am still tired almost all of the time and that makes me feel depressed. Don't know what one does for that. I'm on Pristiq for depression but it doesn't seem to do much good.

I should factor in that being a widow at this time of year is probably a factor too. But I'm still alive and have that to be grateful for. Also the fact that my youngest son moved south and is an hour away so he can help me when needed. He is a wonderful comfort and he loves it down here, thank goodness.

Well, I'll stop rambling and just send you more hugs for peace and strength. So glad we have this board and our "diverse" community here.

Love, Cindy

Oh Ferr. I'm sorry. My brother is a firefighter/emt and he was called to a home once; a lady was having a hard time breathing and she died from a PE right in front of my brother. He said, all he could see was my face when he looked at her. These jobs are so hard when you've either survived the event yourself or know someone who did.

Big hug to you!

Hi Ferr,

A hug to you. You deserved it.

I have a cousin who's a RN. She does most of her work with people who are dying. I've talked with her a bit about it, in part because I thought it would be a very depressing kind of work. She told me that it wasn't. I'll try to repeat what she told me as best I can. She's able to be there for them, to comfort them, and understand. She feels her work is as important in helping to leave this life as those who work at bringing new life into this world.

I watched her work with my dad who had alzheimers and a bad heart. She could bring comfort to him. He trusted her even when he couldn't quite remember who she was. It was great to be around her. She seemed to know the right way to approach things.

I still believe that at times it must be hard for her. She really gets to know the people that she helps. But it's her calling.

So here's another hug, to someone who cares and shows it everyday in what you do.

Thanks,

Todd

Honestly, I don't know how you do it, and I'm sure I would have been a complete wreck with that poor lady last night had I been in your situation. But I really admire that you do put yourself out there in that situation to help all these patients, and I'm sure you're a huge comfort as you do what you can to go above and beyond in helping those with DVT or PE. My ICU nurse was wonderful and she was the only who gave me some idea about how hard things were going to be once I got home. If it weren't for her I would have just gone home thinking that I was going to take care of my kids just like always. I had absolutely no idea what I was in for. She would come in and push my morphine button and told me there was no reason to be in so much pain and I wouldn't have it forever so use it while I did. I think of that and how much I appreciated her, and I know your patients appreciate what you're doing for them too, even if you don't get to hear it from them. So you have lots and lots of *hugs* from me. I think it's amazing that you're able to help people suffering from this in a far more hands on way than most of ever will be able to do.

A friend of mine is a Firefighter and he told me about a call they responded to where a 16 year old girl on BC had fallen asleep with her boyfriend and when he woke up she was not breathing. As much as I wish this had never happened to me, I would rather trade what I have left for that poor girls life any day of the week. I feel for you, because I know how it makes me feel just hearing stories like this, but I could not imagine dealing with it on a first hand basis.

You are a Saint Ferr.

Ferr, that must be so hard to watch, hugs sent your way.

BUT, I have to say, had I had a nurse at the hospital who could have told me "yeah, you might feel devastated and sick now, but eventually you get better and your life can pretty much return to normal," that would have been an angel to me. Instead of the docs and nurses, most of which didn't really know what it was really like. I think you're in a unique position to give new people hope that they can come out the otehr side just fine, thank you. :)

Take care

Chris

I know exactly what you are talking about. I worked LTC up until a few weeks ago when I found out I needed spinal decompression surgery. Long story short, one place I worked at, I lost a patient/ resident 10 MINUTES after I left the floor (shift change) when her DVT broke free and she died as a result of a massive P.E. I cried as well, thankful that I survived my P.E. but also asking why (even at 90 years old) she died.

We are Nurses, so therefore; we know the magnitude of what "could have happen" to us. Thank God, we recognized the signs and symptoms and sought help and survived. Unfortunately, there is not more education to the public about DVT's/P.E.s (causes and prevention) and the severity of them. I guess that is where, we as Nurses can make a difference in educating those we take care of, and their families.

With all the above being said, remember; we are not miracle workers and we are not the ultimate doctor/ nurse. That is left in the hands of God. Sometimes no matter what we do or how hard we try, God has a hand in it and it is that particular patients time to go.

I applaud you. Not all Nurses care and can see the situation like we (you and I) do. Too many Nurses see dollar signs lying in that bed, not a human being or a family member. We have been on both sides of that bed, lying in it, and standing beside it--- to me, that is what makes the HUGE difference.

Keep up the great work, I know it is not easy, I walk the same shoes you walk in. But, if you can stand back and cry sometimes, that is when you know you make one hell of a good Nurse.

Many ((hugs)) from me as well! I honestly don't know how you do it but I'm thankful you're there to give the patients hope and talks. You KNOW what it's like and you've been there and I'm sure they appreciate you more then you realize. I wish I had a nurse as caring as you when I was in the hospital, I had no idea what I was in for when I got home and it would've been nice to talk to someone who REALLY knew what it was like.

Just know that you are helping many PE/DVT patients and although it may be hard, you are changing lives! Many more ((BIG HUGS)).

Hi Ferr

Sending you a Hug all the way from Australia.

I was in hospital with extensive bilateral PE last month. I didn't realise how close I came to death until I talked to a RN last week. Just coming to grips with it all an reading your message was very moving for me.

xxx
Evan

All My Dear , Dear friends, Thank you so very much for the out pouring of love and hugs. you all made my day, and have helped me more times than I can ever count. I love you all. Thank you again
hugs
Ferr

I want to add my Hugs as well, Ferr. Your thoughts on here have helped me so much in the past month since I had my bilateral PE's. I hope you find the strength you need when the days get rough. I am a Patient Advocate in a hospital and know what you mean when you talk about going above and beyond to support people who aren't getting enough information. Your patients are lucky to have your comfort and support and your unique experience offers them answers they probably wouldn't get otherwise. I also want to let you know I can identify with how hard it is to be there for people in situations which remind you of your own. My infant grandson died last Christmas of SIDS and I haven't been able to handle the code blue's at the hospital very well since then. I'm not sure I will ever look at it quite the same. Now, with this experience, I'm really re-evaluating whether I can go back to any of it. But that's my story. I wish you the best and hope the days get better for you!

Dear Ferr,

What an inspiration you are, I only wish I had a nurse like you when I had my PE,s. I admire the way you crack on, even tho you have had clots on your meds and they have had to higher your inr, also you still went in when you had terrible nose bleeds. You keep a lot of us positive on this site. You get a big hug and a kiss from England.

ferr, conasider yourself hugged. i know it's hard when you even hear of someone dieing fro PEs. it makes me feel anger and panic..if you can imagine that. this is a long road for us clotters...but we can make it with each other's help.
blessings,
rebecca

Ferr ... if only every patient were so lucky as to have a nurse like you. I can only imagine how trying it must be to have patients die in front of you from something that hits so close to home. Hang in there!

hug ... hug ... HUG ... HUGHUG ...

HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUG!

Hang in there!