A week ago last Thursday, my husband returned home from a trip for work.  It was a 5 hour drive but he stopped 3 times each way during the trip to stretch and walk about.  He knows to do this as I have a high platelet count and have had elevated D-dimers and clot symptoms in the past so we take precautions.  He is an amazingly fit and super active 47 year old to boot.  So when he came home with pain in his thigh muscle, he reasonably thought he must have pulled a muscle which he treated with ice, heat and *wince* massage. 

The following day he picked up some treated lumber for a project and brought it home in the car.  When he came in, he complained of having a hard time breathing and rattled of symptoms that sounded just like an asthma attack.  Unfortunately, asthma attacks, reflux, heart attacks and (as we would learn a week later) PE all share the same symptoms and sensations.  We thought he might be having an allergic reaction to the lumber or something.  So he took a hit off an inhaler to see if the pain was stemming from an allergic asthma attack. Improvement was nearly instantaneous and within 30 minutes the pain fully resolved.

**This does NOT normally happen with a PE and would not have happened with a heart attack or GERD.

A rescue inhaler will NOT save you from a PE.  This was a freakish one off occurence that the inhaler dilated the blood vessel enough to allow the clot to shift into a less obstructive position--a miracle if you will allow. Yet because it DID work, we continued on blissfully ignorant. Massaging his "pulled muscle", hot epsom salts baths and even employing a tens unit on the advice of a friend. Then his leg started to swell. 

A slight swelling by day 3 changed to a limp inducing swelling by Monday. Tired of his tough guy act, I knew the swelling was something more than a pulled muscle. Twice in the past I had similar symptoms and the Doctors suspected DVT, I was not letting him go home and threatened endless nagging until he agreed to see a doctor immediately...not a week later like he had scheduled. So we went to the nearest walk-in-clinic and he got a doppler scan. DVT mid-lower left thigh.  The scan was sent to our GP who moved his appt to the very next morning and called in a script for immediate Pradaxa.  His temp was normal that day.

Next AM...

He is using a cane and wheelchair by this time the pain is so bad and he has an elevated temp of 100.6.  Because of the temp and mentioning the odd spasms in his back that day, plus the weird "asthma attack" on Friday, our GP has him admitted and a scan of his lungs is done.  He has a small clot in his right lung. So off to ICU step-down we go for 4 days. Day 1 & 2 heparin.  Day 3 & 4 lovenox, then released on xarelto.  No cause was found, but there are more tests to do on an outpatient basis still.  2 weeks no work and 1 week total bedrest followed by extremely light duty. (We follow up in 6 days.)

So that is the history and everything we have been told.  We feel like mushrooms here--kept in the dark and fed b.s.!  He is going nuts wanting to get up and get back to his life...being a very difficult patient.  I think he is under the impression that he can just jump right back into life full throttle--back to the gym, back to remodeling the rental house we are trying to ready, back to slinging 200 pounds around like nothing, running up and down ladders, crawling through attics and such.  I am not so cavalier.  I was a hair's breadth away from losing the other half of my soul that Friday he couldn't breathe.  I can't lose this man--23 years is no where near a long enough time together.

So can some of you please tell us...  How might we expect a recovery to go?  Weeks?  Months?  Years?  Ever?  Excercise--what is the benchmark or litmus test that determines when you can resume general activity? Marital relations?  Weight Training?  Swimming?  How gradual?  How long has it taken you to regain full capacity or whatever percentage capacity of functionality you have?  And how can I as his wife encourage him to slow down and not push so hard without being a nagging harpy?  I want to encourage him to do what he can safely do, but not do so much so fast it does irrepairable damage.  To be honest though...right now I am terrified.  I am not sleeping, I am anxious beyond belief and weepy.  I know this will pass in time, but the initial numbness of shock has just lifted in the last 2 days and I am in the meltdown stage having realized just how close I came to losing the love of my life and tasting just how painful it would be (God Forbid) to face life without him.

Can you help me to help him without smothering him?  (We have always given each other copious breathing room...I do not want to treat him like an invalid or rob him of his virility by over coddling, nor do I want to push him too hard, too far, too fast or make him feel inept for those things he can no longer do.  -- I love and respect him too much for that.)

Any advice, anecdotal information, etc. will be most appreciated.  Thank you.

Sarah