I look at counseling as the one time a week that I can say anything I want with no outside repercussions. I can complain about my mom without hurting her feelings because in the end she really only wants what is best for me. I can talk about my best friend not stepping up enough to help me. I can talk about how it feels to feel like I am a whole different person. I can vent about how angry I am at the universe because this is not how my life should be going. I love therapy. I say go. Stick with it for three months. If you like it continue and if you feel like its done nothing for you quit. Just try.

Yeah, I've totally had a breakdown or two in a doctor's office myself. Sometimes it just all sneaks up on you and having someone point-blank asking if you're *really* OK can just open the floodgates.

I have to agree with what shelley had to say. Therapy can be great because it lets you vent without burdening anyone. Friends and family feel like they're at fault if you're unhappy, which can make talking to them difficult sometimes. Being able to whine and cry with no judgment with someone who will not take any of it personally can be really nice. No harm in giving it a shot, if you can swing it.

I will say that sometimes it takes a couple of tries to get a good therapist. Just like how we sometimes have to switch doctors to get someone we work well with, the same is true of therapists. I've seen a number of them over the years for different reasons and some of them were really just useless. But, once you find one that you "click" with, it is totally worth it.

You've had more than your share of bad days, Ferr, and I can totally understand why you'd be mad, sad, in denial, and etc. and etc. I'm kind of glad that your doc called you on it and is making you take a look at where you are and where you want to be. Hopefully, you'll take this as just another challenge ... and I know you're good at stepping up to a challenge here and there.

I think this might be a very, very good thing for you. Keep us posted on what you decide!

I totally get what Toss is saying. Ferr, the few times I've had a complete break down about my health issues, it seems to always happen in my GI doc's office. For me there's something about feeling so vulnerable when I'm sitting with him talking. I tend to hold everything in at home and at work and in my day to day life, that sometimes even when my doc benignly asks me how I'm feeling, how is my life, whatever, there are times when I just lose it. And I tell you, it makes me love him a little bit because I know when he asks me how I am, he really is concerned and I think can read when I'm stressed or worried. So I think the fact that your doctor is so concerned about how you're doing, FOR REAL, just speaks to what a good doctor he is and how he wants you well and whole, not just getting by.

I have done counseling in the past a couple of times, to help me work through some health related issues that were taking a toll, including after I had my PE. It was profoundly helpful. What you have been through is an extraordinary experience and it would take down a lesser person completely. So do not look at is a failure, a weakness or that you're somehow not dealing properly. Think of it as just an opportunity to gather more fire power to help you navigate things.

Ferr, I'm really glad you shared this, because I know how hard it is to come to this place emotionally, and how hard it is to admit it to others when we're accustomed to being strong. But sometimes strength is in recognizing what problems exist and responsibly dealing with them. It's awful to go through that process, but once we learn to navigate our way through it, we end up better in the end.

I have been through some similarities in learning to deal with my heart condition. But have a doctor in your court who realizes not just the physical toll these things take but the emotional one as well, is such a huge help. Unfortunately, I've had to basically get through the emotional side of it on my own all along, because I didn't even have the option of seeing a therapist. But if it had been possible for me, I'd have done it in a minute because I just think they can really help speed along the emotional healing.

It is good to remember that we can't think of these different problems we have as some sign of a weak character or constitution. No one looks at someone with cancer and says, "Oh, they're so weak and pathetic," yet for some reason when we have these other types of problems that are less well understood, we somehow tend to blame ourselves for not just snapping ourselves out of it. But it's not possible any more than someone can will themselves to be cured of cancer or diabetes. All you can do is learn to manage it. It has been one of the hardest things in my life to accept the new limitations my life has, because I still sometimes slip back into feeling like I should be able to do x or y. It's not even just that I think I should do those things, it's that I want to do them! I live on the Gulf Coast now, and one of the things I've been absolutely dying to do my entire life is go kayaking in the Gulf or the bay here. But my heart can't take it, at least not yet. I'm making progress finally, and maybe I will eventually work back up to that, but for right now if I want to do that, I'll have to be sure to do it tandem so that if I have problems I'm not responsible for getting myself back. We learn to make adjustments, and rmb is right, this will just be an opportunity to gain more fire power to manage your life from this point forward. But grieving and accepting the situation we have, there's no shame in that, in fact quite the opposite I think that takes real strength, partly because we have to learn to trust ourselves and not gauge our view of ourselves by the opinions of others. But it also gives us freedom once we can accept it, as contrary as that might sound, that we gain emotional freedom by accepting physical limits. It helped me a lot when I realized that accepting my limits was not the same as giving up. It's kind of a challenge in itself, to work smarter not harder, and even to find new things that fire me up the same way as the activities I already love.

I know you're a fighter in every sense of the word, so you'll figure it out. Sometimes we need a breakdown in order to get a fresh start.