I havent been reading too much on here lately but do pop in occasionally. I see that there are so many new people that have joined since I joined in March. This place and the people here were a God send. I didnt join right away, I just lurked around and read posts. One week I was having a terrible time, back in ER and .. anyway I read a post a couple days later and OMG! Thats me just two nights ago. So I signed up. I think its time to give back a bit.

Its been just over 10 months now since I was diagnosed with a massive saddle PE/DVT. I collapsed at work one morning. I didnt have most of the typical symptoms for the dvt or the pe. If I have known that the feeling of a pulled muscle (calf) alone could be a clot, I could have avoided the PE altogether. I walked around with it for 3 weeks. With the PE I didnt have any chest pain, only some slight SOB. I finally over exerted myself and passed out. Actually I felt worse about 5 weeks after being diagnosed. Feeling symptoms I hadnt before/when I was diagnosed. Some chest tightness & aches, light headed, heart racing

I spent 5 days in the heart & vascular unit. Dr. drew blood for clotting disorders right away. I was certainly blessed with my medical care early on. I was diagnosed quickly and started treatment. My tests came back, only positive was for Lupus Anticoagualant. The second test 12 weeks later was negative. It was determined that the clots were caused by birth control that I had been on for 5 years.

I took warfarin for 6 months. I have now been off for just over 4 months. Ive had my share of fatigue, aches & pains & sleepless nights. But the hardest part has been the anxiety. Ive never been an anxious person and I had trouble contributing my symptoms (dizzy, high heart rate, tight chest, etc) to anxiety. But after my last episode (in ER again the end of October) I had to admit that it was indeed anxiety. The ER doctor looked at my original scan and said as large as the clot was, I will have reduced heart/lung efficiency even still. Im still healing from the stress that was put on heart/lungs. The symptoms (and with being off warfarin) sets off the anxiousness and just snowballs from there. I think recognizing & accepting the fact is half the battle. So now I have Xanax for future episodes & hopefully there wont be any.

I am working again, but had to be reassigned as my last position was physical and high liability. I just wasnt confident in my health to go back to it. Fortunately I had that option. I get out and walk everyday and I swim, got up to a half mile. I cant say Im 100% but Im getting closer every day. I would love to get to where I have a day I dont think about all thats happened. I dont know if that will happen, but I am thankful that Im still here to think at all. Im thankful everyday for the people I have in my life. Im thankful for this site and for those that are here every day to help people like me get through a tough time.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. We are still alive and need to start living our lives again, a little more each day. Give yourself the time you need to heal, and youre the only one who knows what that is. As similar as a lot of our stories are, we all come through this in our own way & time. Tell your doctor what you need. If youre not sleeping, ask for something to help. If you have anxiety or depression, its okay to get help either with a therapist or meds or both. Know that this isnt a permanent state you will be in. The bad days will get fewer and farther between. Mine are!

Thanks again to all of you that are here every day. We all know who you are. I pray for good health/healing for all of you!

Happy Holidays!!

Patti