Things are going horribly in my life right now.. my fiance is pulling away from me because he claims to be home sick.. he moved 14 hours away.. but things have been okay... since may. but now with him pulling away... talking to all his ex's and all i can think of doing is relapsing... all i can think about is popping some vicodin.. and some ambien and just.. forget and get numb.... its so hard to stay sober... i know i need to but.. i cant think... i feel like nothing i do is good enough..
I value God and nature. I value my family and friends. I value art and music.
I am feeling super drained as I already wrote a novel in a new journal app in hopes to get some things off my chest. But what I am missing is the ability to vent to someone who understands. My mother was beautiful. She was college educated and an absolute great actress. And when I say that I mean we had tons of her old trophies and awards from various plays she was in. She could of been a great...