I just wanted to keep everybody informed or up to date about how I'm doing. I seem to be doing better, I think honestly that the medication that the doctor had me on, was causing me more problems than I already have or had. I stopped cold turkey on my meds, i noticed that I was feeling kinda shaky after stopping them. Saw my counselor or therapist yesterday, we had a good conversation, I had a discussion with her about how she treated my mom when my mom went to my last counseling session with me. My counselor thinks that I may be co-dependent, I never used to be. Before my abuse I was really independent and did my own thing.

we talked about how my abuser groomed me, does anyone know what grooming means, she explained it but I still dont fully understand it She also thinks that my work as a behavioral health technician might be triggering me, but I dont see it. When I was at work the other day, one of my colleagues or fellow co-workers had just lost her daughter, I told her that i was sorry for her loss, when my grandma passed away I never had a chance to mourn or grieve her death, I think for now on, on the anniversary of her death and her birthday I am going to get balloons and send like card up to the sky with the balloons, my grandma and I were always close, I'm thinking about doing it for the friend i lost three years ago as well. I had a loss in 2011 and one in 2012. My counselor bumped me up to seeing her twice a week so I think that will help. I'm going to try to distract myself with cleaning today and going through some boxes that have papers in them. also might go to the food bank or pantry. any body know of any good ptsd books that might help me? Just wanted to give you an update