Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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Still trying to sort the alphabet soup my memory has made of my professional therapy.
Finding consistency in the montage of therapy programs I have worked since my first official therapy appointment in May of 1972 is no small feat. Not even the diagnosis and job titles have stayed the same, much less the terms I use to discuss it. The current round of psych pros have already shipped their psych parents to the Toxic People Landfill, so they can't help me untangle the knots, either. Who cares what antiquated dinosaurs used in the industrial age? They are all disposable. Start over with my new, improved apps. Follow me on Twitter. Let me shine my light on you.
But. . . Consistency is my greatest hunger. I grew up in a traveling sex show. Please give me a consistency greater than the individual uniqueness of perverts. Many of them billed themselves as new and improved, too.
The 12 step network seems to be my greatest source of consistency as I try to cobble together a functional program for the warring acronyms my own strictly personals recovery.
Don't know where I am going here. Just sorting?
Personal thoughts and experience welcome. My light sensitivity has been extreme recently, so it is unlikely I will be able to read web sources. Don't need more acronyms for my alphabet soup just now. I am a bit over-stocked.
Finding consistency in the montage of therapy programs I have worked since my first official therapy appointment in May of 1972 is no small feat. Not even the diagnosis and job titles have stayed the same, much less the terms I use to discuss it. The current round of psych pros have already shipped their psych parents to the Toxic People Landfill, so they can't help me untangle the knots, either. Who cares what antiquated dinosaurs used in the industrial age? They are all disposable. Start over with my new, improved apps. Follow me on Twitter. Let me shine my light on you.
But. . . Consistency is my greatest hunger. I grew up in a traveling sex show. Please give me a consistency greater than the individual uniqueness of perverts. Many of them billed themselves as new and improved, too.
The 12 step network seems to be my greatest source of consistency as I try to cobble together a functional program for the warring acronyms my own strictly personals recovery.
Don't know where I am going here. Just sorting?
Personal thoughts and experience welcome. My light sensitivity has been extreme recently, so it is unlikely I will be able to read web sources. Don't need more acronyms for my alphabet soup just now. I am a bit over-stocked.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Cognitive,
adjective
1.
of or relating to cognition; concerned with the act or process of knowing, perceiving, etc. :
cognitive development; cognitive functioning.
2.
of or relating to the mental processes of perception, memory, judgment, and reasoning, as contrasted with emotional and volitional processes.
I know you know this. I mostly included for others.
From all that is coming out concerning C-PTSD, it is the most effective way of handling the abnormal learning affects of abuse.
Different personality types may have to go back piece by piece to see where they made even the smallest effort to survive. This is not always a positive fighting, or an aggressive act but usually a concede-ding self preserving act. Those are the ones that we see our self blame in.
I think my biggest break through was as part of child development class I needed to observe the reaction of a 2year old, 4 year old and 6year old as I read them a book. How small and light a two year old is really hit me. So very fragile and trusting, wanting to hear the story from my lap.
Suddenly I was two and realized there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop, instigate or alter what happened. I blamed myself all my life for being weak of personal strength, when that is what 2 year olds are. That early learning of self blame mixed with more abuse reinforced my self esteem level of somewhere below a slug. But this was trained by those that found an easy target and continued. I did what was needed to survive, even playing dead at times to lose their interest.
Those little things that allowed me to still be here, were strengths on their own.
That knowledge shook me to the core, because it broke what I believed about myself, but then allowed new learning to have room to move in.
Support arfie, as you say healing happens.
J.
"Sit." You sit. The class follows.
"Stand." You stand. The class follows.
"Hello." Shake the student's hand. Motion for students to greet one another.
Etcetera, etcetera, until the class is using complete sentences in complex exchanges.
I was in formal therapy at the VA when I trained to teach ESL as a volunteer. It didn't take the therapist (Hillary?) and I long to get from the use of cognitive links in my training classes to their role in my trigger sequences.
In 1973, after I finished my first communications certificate, I was quite passionate about acronyms. Loved them with the poetic devotion of a new convert.
Several languages and an internet explosion later. . . Me duele a la cabeza. Are we studying DNA or ADN?
I may not be explaining my thoughts right but sometimes in counselling i get that ah - ha experience. Then I have to process and think gosh am I really like that, mostly intuitive as I don't seem to trust much else. It has gotten me this far.
Sorry to hear about the light sensitivity. Hope you have a restful weekend hugs