I can understand why this situation and the silly approach of 're-interviewing' has you rattled.

You are right, they should be using existing productivity evaluations to make such decisions. When I was working, layoffs were the time to cut loose the non-productive 'dead-wood'.

Since they are taking this silly approach, I would prepare like for a regular interview. I would have a written resume emphasizing what you have accomplished with them already, the wonderfulness of your performance, any things you have done above and beyond your job description, and of course how your interest and emotional buy-in to your work and the field make you highly motivated to stay. Make sure the resume is flawlessly done. If you work where it's hi-tech you could even make a power-point presentation of whatever.

The idea is to go the extra mile in preparing for the re-interview, because nearly everyone else will just go in feeling defensive and only prepared to talk. Of course also avoid being snarky or inferring you DESERVE to stay. Make it all about them.

It's a bummer being put but in this position, but w/ a little prep you can be calmer and more confident during the process.

The best to you.

Looking for work is the most degrading work I have ever done. Even worse than the work-a-day grind in my personal senses. The very thought of it sets me on my triggery edge...

Most of my paid career was in drafting and engineering. What you are describing was standard operating procedure in that world, minus the opportunity to prepare for "the meeting." It is a seriously brutal way to do business. Lot's of "suck it up and be a man" to the philosophy behind it. It doesn't sound any gentler coming from feminine lips.

Ah well... Work is a four letter work ending in "k." If it was fun, we'd be paying instead of getting paid.

Hugs, Chris. Keep us posted on how you are holding up.

I was suddenly laid off by a cutthroat young career administrator in 2010. It was March, and she said the school budget required it after the recession in 2008. She smiled brightly as she told me and was very pleased with herself. I was 52 years old.

I wasn't the only one. She did that to four others at my school that day, with no warning. I felt sorriest for myself for about an hour, but then I walked into the office of a colleague. She'd done it to him, too. Unlike me, he had kids in college. Then I realized I was on my own, but certainly not in the worst predicament of us all.

I got a lesser job four months later after taking a 15% cut in pay. But in this recession, I know that's the story of millions. I'm grateful I can pay my bills, have health insurance so I can afford PTSD treatment and treatment for my diabetes and kidney disease. I live very frugally, but I can make it paycheck to paycheck, and that's life for many these days. I'm not on disability nor unable to work, which I know many of us here on DS PTSD are now, so I know to be thankful.

Nonetheless, the kind of treatment I got reminds me of what this director at your work is doing. She reminds me of the provost who just suddenly laid us all off. It certainly triggered me, and while unemployed I had good reason to be concerned. I can't imagine how it wouldn't make you snappy, I know how you feel. I hope you're not headed to being laid off like I was, but even then I got through it and you can, too. Keep coming back and venting.

im sorry, dont know what else to say and do hope you wont get laid off, i understand your concern, insecurity and fear, and your reaction is normal one for anyone faced with possible lay off

Your words are very kind. Thank you for your stories.

letitbe3: I'm going to think of your name when i go to the interview. I'll just let things be. Whatever comes out of it is out of my control.

arfie: Thank you. Back in the day I did some CAD and Engineering work. It was good but definitely not my call. And well said about he kind of work "work" is.

mujicaptsd: Thank you. I do have fear of being unemployed again. It's hard having to see the newer generations so disconnected and clueless about how the workplace used to be. Especially not thinking that they might be in those shoes one day.

sidarta: Thank you.

Sounds like some control issues by the boss. She seems to be enjoying hanging it over every ones heads that she has the power to say who stays and who goes. What a horrible boss and a rotten situation to be in. No wonder you are triggered. Anyone of us in the same situation would be triggered. Now is the time to go back the basics, deep breathing, journaling, whatever you do to create a relaxing environment to reduce stress. As for work, just play the game and stroke her ego, then go home and workout hard to relief the tension and stress. Good luck

Just heard a quote that describes your boss

"Hitting people over the head is not leadership- that's assault"-
Dwight D. Eisenhower

That is exactly what your boss is doing with the layoff- using them as a club to get you to bow to her. Bad leader. Sorry you have worked under her. Maybe a layoff is a good thing in disguise. You may get a better job with a real boss. Try to look at the positive. You can find a job, don't beat yourself up over it.

There's a lot of head-hitting "leadership" out there nowadays, especially if you are middle aged. It's a competitive world overall; fairness comes through individuals with heart, or laws that force the issue. Overall, business is business and the bottom line rules.

Realizing that was a hard pill to swallow, but now that I am retired, I can see how naive I was in thinking I was anything special just because I had worked harder and made more sacrifices than anyone else. Martyrs go down in flames, too.

However, letitbe3 gave good advice, and is obviously a person who knows how the game is played in working smarter, not just harder.

Much good advice given from each. I wished I'd had this site before I retired!

One more thing for those who don't live in quiet houses.

I use ear muff type hearing protection, which helps a lot with managing stress. The type I use are 3M Peltor Bull's Eye 9 Hearing Protector through Amazon.com.

The "muffs" work great when someone is watching TV, and I want to read in the same room. Plus, I wear them around the house anytime I want to tune out or do mindful meditations. They are comfortable, and, because of the ear muff style, never slip off if you size them right before purchasing.

I've been amazed at how much more control I feel in knowing I can manage the noise around me, i.e., vacuuming, clanking pots and pan and dishes, barking dog next door, back yard chickens, etc.

Taking down the stimuli is empowering in a world that often feels overwhelming. Make home your haven of rest!

Tough day at work for the first time in about 3 months for me. The saturation coverage of the Boston bombings finally got to me in that bombings I survived drew my energy today away from the present back to those memories. Oh well. I guess we all get to have an off day at work--I hope...Chris, hope you're doing ok today at your workplace. One foot in front of the other....

muji

Well, tomorrow is when I have that dreadful meeting. Today I took the day off. Mental health and self care are very important and today I was just not up for dealing with those people. So I got a haircut, applied for work, read, did a few chores and had a nice day.

I believe this will give me a better mindset for tomorrow. I guess I'll be posting after the meeting.

The truth is that I don't feel intimidated; I feel forced to say and behave in a way that is extremely untruthful. I can't tell my true feelings about that place where I work. Not everything has been horrendous, but I am very disappointed with many things there, but I feel I can't say that.

This reminds me when I was planning to leave the cult my family was in and I still had to mislead the leaders into me being something and somebody I am not. They questioned me to the very end until I faded away. And tomorrow feels as much survival as back then.

Anyway, thank you all for your kind words. I never had so many people support me (at once)

I will research the Peltor Bull's Eye 9 Hearing Protector ;-)

Good luck as you face tomorrow, Chris.

Interesting that you wrote about having belonged to a cult as a kid. My family were abusive religious fanatics, so I know the feeling. And having liberated oneself from that as an adult, it certainly isn't the kind of workplace dynamic one is willing to accept all over again.

I'll have a good thought for you tomorrow.

muji

Just an update. My meeting got canceled until today. I met with the big boss today. I was feeling dreadful about it but I managed to be honest (didn't have to lie) and handled the situation gracefully.

One question I was asked was about how I feel about the place. I wasn't going to say that I plan to retire from it or that I love it. However, the idea that came to mind was very clever. I looked at her eyes and said "I absolutely love my place in this organization. I love the role I play in this team". And I do. That way I didn't evade the question, but didn't answer it either. I fucking hate the place. But I do love that I am respected among my immediate coworkers and subordinates.

So that's out of the way. The rest was just business pleasantries and nothing more.

Thank you all for your unconditional online support.

Yes! Way to go! I used to teach at a fancy private university. After being hospitalized with PTSD, I returned to the work force and now only teach at a community college. I know the difference, it's there every day. But I'm actually happier in that my immediate life is better now at work at the community college than when I was more successful and had more status as a university professor.

Great answer when you said to your boss: "I absolutely love my place in this organization. I love the role I play in this team".

Chris, I know this is totally unrelated to the stuff you have just been through, but I was reading about something recently and thought of you. Thought of you because when I am working in that type of environment, I tend to have the same kinds of problems you describe.

Have you read anything on "type C personality"? I know not everyone puts stock in those ways of categorizing people. But when I read about type C (as opposed to type A (a-holes, ehmm I mean "driven" types) or type B (social butterflies) the type C stuff was something I could related to and I wondered (due to having felt some of the types of things that you talk about) whether you might fit into that also.

Type C's are very meticulous, not into chit chat, conscientious (probably to a fault). Obviously I don't know you, but that reminds me of the things you write and the work challenges you deal with.

It was interesting to me because some of the articles I read made good points about how people like that can deal in the work place and also what the strengths are. I am never going to blow anyone away with my networking skills; but if you want the job done, and to the letter, I am the person to call.

Just throwing that out there since it reminded me of you (you to the extent I can know, on an anonymous forum, but anyway).