I'm such a burden. I'm a failure, loser, weak. I shouldn't be here. I want to be dead. I wish I was dead. 

I'm such a burden. My friends shouldn't be worried about me. I'm not worthy of their time. They say they care but I can't find the words to tell them how I feel. I look down and depressed and I can't find the words. No, I want to talk to you! LISTEN TO ME PLEASE! I NEED YOU TO HEAR ME PLEASE! ITS ALL I WANT! but the voices tell me no. I can't. I'm your biggest burden. I need to be heard and helped! The voices are too storng. There's so many voices that just need to stop! But I'm not strong enough to break free from them.

I'm a failure. I feel like I'm lagging behind. There's nothing for me in the future. My future is dull and black. I have nothing and so that makes me a failure. I can't do anything right. No, I'm passing my classes with A's, let me have that. You can't. You're not allowed that. Shut up, I'm doing good. I'm not a failure. I'm doing good considering my mental state. LET ME HAVE THAT! You stupid voices are telling me something that's not true. My failures don't make me a failure, it makes me a learner. It's the stupid voices. There's so many voices that just need to stop! But I'm not strong enough break free from them.

I'm a loser. There's nothing there. My friends don't care. They all think one thing about you. They think you're a loser. Nothing but a loser. No, I'm not a loser. My friends think I'm good. They love me. They know I'm good and wonderful. No, you're not. You're an unlovable person. You're a failure and a loser. No, my friends love me and want me to succeed. It's these stupid voices. There's so many voices that just need to stop! But I'm not strong enough to break free from them.

I'm weak. You can't fight for shit. You can't love for shit. You run away and cower like a bitch. You have no fight in you. No, I'm strong as fuck. I've fought so many battles that no one can even comprehend. My brother, my dad, my parents divorce, my cross country move, my girlfriend, my exes, my anxiety, my depression. I've fought it all! And I lived. No, you lost battles. No one else around you loses battles. Yeah, I've lost battles, but I got up, brushed myself off and kept fighting until I fucking won! Because I'm a damn fighter. And a fucking good one at that! It's these stupid voices! There's so many voices that just need to stop! But I'm not strong enough to break free from them.

Its these stupid voices. I need them to just stop! There's so many voices that tell me such negative things and it's a constant fucking battle to shut them up. And I don't always win. And today is one of those days. I need to find my own voice and keep the other ones quiet. They need to go away! I don't want them or need them. I need step out of them as they consume me. They aren't my voices. The voices of peers, friends, teachers, family, strangers are the only voices I hear. Their criticism and hatred spew through my head like lava. It burns and hurts. It's so loud that I can't hear my own voice. I just need it to STOP!

And then I'll be good.