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Youngest son has been sliding on the edges of psychotic episodes since he lost his job. Having to move his young family back to the home town, back into Mom and Dad's place is a serious blow for him. His wife is not too steady with the evolution, either. It be a tough transition. Of course, their 17month old son is just following the lead. So far, the toddler rating seems pretty steady. He seems to be saying, "Hey, and what is wrong with G-ma's place?"
Youngest son had his first psychotic break in 2002. He has had several since, but has been holding pretty steady since the last hospitalization in 2011. The dx'es run from paranoid schizophrenia to thyroid issues. For me, the dx'es are just a name to call it. I am good calling it, "The Yaddah Blah." Let's just pick a name and make it work??? Another good name for it might be, "His business." He is 30 years old, after all.
The flashback series I have been plagued with during the recent invitations to mind "His business" has been hooked to 1992. A year I do not WANT to relive. Like flashbacks need invitations... It was the 3rd year of the near divorce from my beloved, the second year of my amnesia therapy and the year my graphics business crashed and burned. Should the 8 and 12 year old sons gain honorable mention in that mess? In 1992, it was rather fashionable to leave children in the "faux pas" category.
I don't WANT to relive that year, but the wonder of this wander is, "Is there information in there that could help ease the current transition?"
Just rambling. Thoughts and reality checks welcome.
Youngest son had his first psychotic break in 2002. He has had several since, but has been holding pretty steady since the last hospitalization in 2011. The dx'es run from paranoid schizophrenia to thyroid issues. For me, the dx'es are just a name to call it. I am good calling it, "The Yaddah Blah." Let's just pick a name and make it work??? Another good name for it might be, "His business." He is 30 years old, after all.
The flashback series I have been plagued with during the recent invitations to mind "His business" has been hooked to 1992. A year I do not WANT to relive. Like flashbacks need invitations... It was the 3rd year of the near divorce from my beloved, the second year of my amnesia therapy and the year my graphics business crashed and burned. Should the 8 and 12 year old sons gain honorable mention in that mess? In 1992, it was rather fashionable to leave children in the "faux pas" category.
I don't WANT to relive that year, but the wonder of this wander is, "Is there information in there that could help ease the current transition?"
Just rambling. Thoughts and reality checks welcome.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Mind you, I speak merely as an observer on the kids issue. I have godkids, not even close to the same thing. That said, amidst other failures in life, the need to be a perfect parent or to assume utter failure-as-a-parent seems to be a trend in my friends with kids. (Particularly those with marital issues.)
Sounds like you had a Hell Year, and seeing your kid feel so awful is just reminding you of your own bad times---and not to be clich, but between empathy/sympathy for your son, your stress, and so on? The new information could be: "Hey, if I share with him how awful I felt back then, he'll see that he too can get through, because I did." That's my inner Pollyanna talking, so feel free to smack her upside the head. I often get that urge myself.
I guess I'm wondering if there's any information beyond the simplistic lesson that "this too shall pass"? (And that's my inner Occam's Razor...)
Sorry to ramble, but I tend to relive hell years due to external triggers a lot more than I used to, so I'm still wandering the wonderment of it all myself.
Peace to your journey,
Leo
So, yes, I believe that flashbacks are useful - as hard as they are - they do serve a purpose in the healing process.
((hugs))
That said, I try to treat even the creepy crawlies as information to learn from. I fail to take the time to do so a lot, just wanting to get on with things, especially when they come on at work. But I do take the time sometimes to reflect even on the creepy crawlies and see where that comes from.
One of my creepy crawlies is from that year 1992 that was so tough for you. That year at Christmas my Dad was set off by something my brother in law told him about me (I'll never know what) and suddenly attacked. He tried to strangle me, but I got away. Then in my flashbacks I got the sensation of gagging from the incident. That one I did figure out.
Hang in there, arfie, you've got a lot on your plate with your son's family. Much, much support to you.
it was really bad break but here i am living prove you can live threw things. the doctor's did not think i would make it out of my mental state my mom was great support three weeks later i got a good report that i was going to be ok i was not dx with pstd until the90s, i was not really ok i did get tons better i had small breaks now there further apart hug ,mmin
1) How to get through times like this. I did it with zero family support, and even my beloved was adding ALLOT more problems than solutions, but with family support, maybe... Even his wife is open to counsel on the situation. Hubs is struggling with his Chronic Perfection Disorder, but mostly coming through like a champ among dads. He is keeping his focus on being more helpful than right.
2) Youngest son was 8 years old when I was going through this nightmare in 1992. Could part of his root issue be in there?
Just sorting...