Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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The four day farm weekend went all too fast. Hubs stayed whatevery the whole weekend, but I applaude his progress in not letting his confusion dominate the weekend. He even got in some joyful grandtime in between his busies. I am currently bracing for the three hour drive back to TOG (The Other Grandparent) house where the GKs will be visited by the other CPS caseworker this afternoon. So far as we can tell, the CPS case which prompted Friday's visit here at the farm has still not met with the case prompting the visit to TOG house this afternoon. When I made contact yesterday to confirm GK delivery plans, the other grandfather told me that the parental units are still caught up in their romantic dramas and. . . STB exes will be STB exes?
"Hey," I told him, "I'm in it for the young kids. The romantic details of other grownups are not mine to sort. For now I am grateful that *we* can coordinate on the needs of the little ones."
The GD (2) woke up cranky this morning, saying "No" to everything, whether she wants it, or knot. Big brother is being amazingly helpful in compassionate smoothing of her 2 year old confusions. GS is playing our good-bye game of crying with mock hysteria over the tradgedy of another great visit giving way to another round of business as usual.
I woke up cranky, too. My gut knots are intense, but I believe my therapy exercises are helping me hold compassionately steady. So I pray. . . It's all too easy to lie to myself about how steady I am holding.
Time to pack up the kids. No personal packing this time. My plans are to drive back as soon as the GKs are settled.
Healing hopes for all. No exceptions.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Thanks for the support, guys. Support and prayers both needed and appreciated.
The parental units checked in last night. They have decided to keep on working on their marriage and the romantic fireworks which are continually traumatizing the still young children. They were wanting to know where the CPS yaddahs stood. So far as I know, the two open case files have yet to find one another, much less grow its plan of action. Mother's court date on her assault charges is Thursday and. . . We see what grows.
A surprise for both branches of their family tree which came out of all this is that they are four months pregnant with their third child. They had been keeping it secret because of their shame of letting that happen while they were struggling so hard with being responsible parents to the first two. They are considering giving the child up for adoption. Hubs and I have decided that, if they are going to do that, we would like to be considered as candidates for the adoptive parents.
It's a chill, rainy day here on the southern tip of the Great Plains. The sensory significance of chill, moist air is entirely different here than it is in my beloved River Region or the subarctic snow regions. It is ideal meditation weather.
O-o-o-o-o-h-h-h-h-h-m-m-m-m. . .