You mentioned spirituality, have you ever listened to Joyce Meyers? I get a lot from listening to her...great book too Battlefields of the Mind. Like you, I too am looking for a "life" due to empty nest...it's hard...my best to you, ml

As long as you're still breathing life did not pass you by. Since you felt a feeling in choir practice, maybe practice singing the songs from choir while you practice driving will help you pass your road test.

Thanks for replying.

Maybe it's controversial, but I made peace with not driving after trying to pass the road test over 10 times. I do bike to get groceries.

I guess I'm still kicking

Biking will keep you in shape better then driving. :)

I'm so sorry you are so unhappy. I relate with being numb towards life. I've been having a difficulty finding a job also. I actually found a job which lasted two months only. I guess that wasn't a job for me anyways. But I don't give up. You should not give up either. I started volunteering at a non profit doing admin work, which is the type of job I'm looking for. This way I learn and do some good too. It can help in the interview too. Find something you enjoy doing. Maybe take a walk in nature, or a hobby that makes you happy.

You will be in my prayers.

Hey, you're saving the environment and staying healthy biking at the same time!

You can't run from your troubles. You can only learn what to do with them and how to live with them. You can't let them run your life. Somewhere you need to take control again. It's hard

Sorry about how you feel in your marriage. I'm not married any more myself, so as much as I'd like to, I'm afraid I can't offer more than my condolences on that count. I do remember feeling that way back then.

As to not getting past the road test, even if you didn't really want to drive, you'd want to have that choice. So that's got to be frustrating. Not getting a job is what sounds hardest to me. I've lost a couple of jobs to PTSD crashes I had, and getting another job after my recovery was harder every time. I don't know how that makes you feel so I won't assume to know. For me there was fear. so that's the thing I avoided by going numb as you mention.

So glad you're trying to find meaning. I can't handle even good times without meaning. I know that sounds ungrateful or weird, but that's just how PTSD wired me, I guess. If I can find some meaning, I can handle bad times. It doesn't have to be deep meaning or anything big, just meaning somehow. That's me.

That's the thing that has kept me going the most. Moments like that glimmer of spirituality you had in choir. When I string enough moments like those together like pearls on a string, eventually I somehow get a life. Much support your way, ds.

You sound like you are in the same place as me.

What about trying some volunteer work? It can really be helpful and does look good on a resume too. I volunteer for a group that plants trees and also foe a crisis support line. I am just starting up a photography club too.

Do you take pictures? It is a really mindful activit. Maybe you could fins a hobby too??

Thank you for all the replies!

Waiting is so hard! You are reaching out for help! That can make the difference! Keep reaching!

You mentioned your spirituality. Have you considered Christian counseling, either marriage or for just yourself? That made a difference for me and for our marriage. I couldn't change anyone else, but I could work on me.

Praying for you!

With ml on Joyce Meyer. Just read her book Living beyond your feelings. Controlling emotir so they don't control you. The woman is amazing. She was sexually abused by her father and now she is doing GOds work because she gave it all over to God and He saved her. Get more involved with church and the choir. Sing it all out sister. In fact bloody well let it rip. Its all about sound and vibration anyway. Isn't the first words in the Bible about the word of God? Words have power. Use yours wisely as God intended. Keep riding that bike too. And don't worry about your marriage. Maybe some. Compromise and acceptance is needed here? Dunno just ruminating out loud. Blessing's Manda XXX