I think females can be just as cruel as maIes, maybe even more so, since they're usually more subtle about it. I agree that society tends to underestimate them.
Support while you sort.

Arfie, oen of the first things I did here on PTSD board was....

Post that one of my abusers was my sister.

Gasp! A female! In the same household! Under the same mean daddy! She can't possibly have been! No no no! She was a co-victim! And that's what the *therapist* said....

Bull-effing-shi*, pardon my English.

She was a perp. She used being female and older to get away with it. "Girls aren't like that" was part of her camouflage. And I can be a right royal beyotch, so I'm no madonna-angel-saint thing either.

People's people, and gender doesn't change what they're capable of. It may alter somewhat how they express it based on social conditioning, but.... Yeah, I *know* there's a bias. I still have to deal with a therapist who insists my sister was a co-victim. Sure, she probably was.... And then she became a perp to survive. Dad hurting her doesn't change her hurting others in just as bad a way, or worse, b/c we get that cultural pap about "women are gooey cuddly wonderful little doe-eyed darlings" despite all evidence to contrary.

Sorry to rant, Arfie, Iddn't mean to go on and on. As you can see.... I'm with ya.

Big support from the puma as you sort. I'm still mucking out the compost myself, as you can see....

Over at the other board I'm on, a guy broke up with his fianc this weekend...he was saying she periodically knocked him around throughout the relationship.
He came home from a concert and she stabbed him with her keys...her friend was there.
Said friend went outside with the guy, told the guy that his fianc had been violent with all her exes. Told guy that she was disgusted with fiance's behavior.
Fianc came out and attacked her female friend...

...Guy's a large and reasonably strong fellow.

Men ARE taught, at least in some families, that a good man never hits a woman...and they won't defend themselves. So even though certain men often have superior strength and size, they become the ***victims*** of battery.
Talk about embarrassment city!
In the above case, the guy ***did not even admit to himself he was in a physically battering relationship***.

Because your flashbacks are right about what you experienced.
I have a few that I still deal with on some level, sexual abuse is not a gender specific event.

Support while you sort.
J.

When I process my male perpetrated trauma, I seldom have to sort the trauma from comparisons to females.

Seems like the first thing I have to do in processing the female perpetrated trauma is wade through the gender bias.

Does it really matter which genitals the fist is attached to? Doesn't make the resulting wounds any more benevolent in my flashbacks.

Still sorting. . .

P.S.
I am not a large human. Combat training very specifically taught me how to use an opponent's size and strength against them. Brain can triumph over brawn with amazing, instinctive ease. You don't even need to understand physics to do it. National Geographic documentaries abound with all natural, bi-sexual examples. . .

my daugter is one of those you speck of , all the time she has been asking for support but telling people terrible lies about me she could be dangerous like for instance i told her about some travel things like entering the country she lol at me i told her best read it she did there calling for essential travel only this she is going to where a terrorist group live , i dont think i will see her again sometimes things i see or dream come true she well not be at her daughter graduation im really upset about that hugs min

I am a female with sexual issues. I have never gotten away with anything. I have never touched anyone inappropriately.

It's hard to deal with my fear/ attraction feelings from incest. I'm glad my husband has always been kind and loving to me. I am trying to respect men and women and always act appropriately.