Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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Trusting Memories

arfie
arfie
I arrived to adulthood with no childhood memories, whatsoever. Didn't want them, either. I fought psychic tooth and nail to keep those memory blocks in place.

Stop sniggling... What's a few decades of denial among friends?

I started letting nature run its course in the late 80s, early 90s with much help from my support network. I am starting to get pretty good at sorting through them. I think. Unfortunately, the human ties to my childhood are severed. I can neither confirm, nor deny any of the emerging memories.

Trust is my current issue. How can I trust these emerging memories? They seem to be emerging all the way back to my toddler years.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Reply #19 Trust yourself. Work with what your brain has. In my mind, all the struggling and questioning our perceptions is further manifestations of abuse. We were taught that everything we perceived and did was WRONG. Take back your rights. Believe yourself. Even if the details are sketchy.

Such good words!!!!
LoveUbabe
LoveUbabe
I so get the last few posts here......I cannot even say out loud a few things that I know happened (or may have) happened....because part of my brain goes into hiding AGAIN....so I have to be very, very careful....because I know how the frightened child I guess it is responds now.....TERRIFIED....absolutely terrified....
Also, I am sure the threats on other issues, etc....still have my poor brain smithereened.......and I have to be soooo gentle with it......I do not DARE...say certain things out loud...because they could put me back years and years and it is not worth it :) I just know what I know, vague as SOME of it is.....and I am careful who I talk to about it.....etc.....very, very careful......always open to learning new techniques and wording to keep myself safe and less traumatized :))))
LoveUbabe
LoveUbabe
I do and have written just about everything down that I remember...sometimes in a way that only I know what I am referring too...just to be feeling safe again.......it is amazing the way it goes on....today I know enough of what I need to know...and then you hear things out loud from other people that were 'lying' or denying etc....another family member had recently admitted to be 'abused' 18 years later !!!! who had denied, denied, denied :) so miraculous...and it didn't even really effect me...cause I know what I know and have belief in the memories now so long....also when an old neighbor was talking to another family member they mentioned all the pedophiles that used to live next door....and my family member darted their eyes in shame to me to see if I heard...I pretended not to...but it was sooooo telling....all these things...are just amazing to me....so confirming what I guesstimated for years....:) More will always be revealed....to thine own self be true...and honor thy self in a humane way...blessings to all...sleep well too if you can...so important to do that!!! we need our rest...