Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
My ex-guy was a great deal of why I was able to open up? I trusted him. Then he turned on me.
He felt he'd worked enough, he was entitled to all he wanted now.
I was unfairly withholding things he deserved.
...The fact that he seriously messed up in my eyes? My problem, not his, I just needed to get over that. The triggers his sexual talk kept popping up? My problem. HE wasn't a sexual abuser. How dare I reject him sexually?
I was being cruel to him by depriving him of his just rewards. I shouldn't be triggered by him, even when he talked about doing stuff I was just remembering being done to me by a bunch of anonymous men that my dad rented me to.
I don't know why I was surprised.
Stunned, even.
I allowed myself to be suckered yet again.
It's taken me a while to process this...for 5 years he was my best friend whom I was also incredibly in love with.
...He turned into this in the last 6 months.
My ex-wife wrecked my faith in myself. I gave her trust, and she bulldozed me in return. My girlfriend tried to guilt trip me, had a lot of success. I told her not to play head games, I was too vulnerable to them.
Trusting is stupid. It is foolish. I can't indulge in it anymore. I have to expect betrayal and behave accordingly.
It hurts, yeah. But I'm not going to allow anyone in.
He felt he'd worked enough, he was entitled to all he wanted now.
I was unfairly withholding things he deserved.
...The fact that he seriously messed up in my eyes? My problem, not his, I just needed to get over that. The triggers his sexual talk kept popping up? My problem. HE wasn't a sexual abuser. How dare I reject him sexually?
I was being cruel to him by depriving him of his just rewards. I shouldn't be triggered by him, even when he talked about doing stuff I was just remembering being done to me by a bunch of anonymous men that my dad rented me to.
I don't know why I was surprised.
Stunned, even.
I allowed myself to be suckered yet again.
It's taken me a while to process this...for 5 years he was my best friend whom I was also incredibly in love with.
...He turned into this in the last 6 months.
My ex-wife wrecked my faith in myself. I gave her trust, and she bulldozed me in return. My girlfriend tried to guilt trip me, had a lot of success. I told her not to play head games, I was too vulnerable to them.
Trusting is stupid. It is foolish. I can't indulge in it anymore. I have to expect betrayal and behave accordingly.
It hurts, yeah. But I'm not going to allow anyone in.
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
I think it comes down to experience. You know what people are really like or you don't. Trust people only after they prove themselves to you...and even then only to a certain point.
Protect yourself. Nothing wrong with being kind to people, just don't turn your back to them or they might stab you someday.
So yeah, learning to trust people? Not happening any time soon for me. I do trust a selected few with certain aspects, but trusting anyone completely? Just no.
I'm sorry this happened to you, blue.
I say that to say: not everyone is bad. It took me a while to find the right partner but my husband is amazingly supportive and may handle my having PTSD better than I do. :P He's trained to help deal with it because he was in the military and he can pick up on when I am being triggered before I realize I am being triggered. He purposefully avoids my triggers and has gone through great lengths to make sure I am not triggered when we fight/disagree (which is rare, but is a monumental trigger for me).
While I think some people are awful and prey on people with PTSD, I don't think everyone is like that and just thought I'd try to send that positive note your way.
I am so sorry you are going through all of this.
Therefore, I married someone just like her, and she did me like my mom used to do. I put her through law school, then we divorced "without drama"--but with lots of pain and confusion on my part. I didn't see the connection back to mom yet. So I married someone else just like her in every way again. We divorced "without drama" on my part this time She got kind of dramatic and made only herself look bad. But my having the moral high ground meant nothing to my pain and confusion.
Then my PTSD therapist showed me my pattern and the penny dropped. I've been a lot better since then at picking who to trust. In fact, even if this tenure thing doesn't work out, I still think I've trusted the right people and will be able to move on somehow.
But boy, did I ever get betrayed big time the exact same way twice. Ouch. I feel your pain about those two, blue. Much support your way.
These days I am trying to let good people have bad days and tough phases. I trust them to be assholes during the hard days and still be worthy of love.
Learning how to be hurt without giving up on love. I am still not in any danger of being a newsworthy socialite, but I am not sure I can live without trust any more.
Gentle support while you find what works for you, blue.
this is not about me but I am feeling empathy and this is how I do that. I am back to basic building blocks at the moment, I want you to know I care and I am here and you are way too special to put up with that crap.
better alone with myself than alone with someone else to possibly add to the pain or add confusion - that is what I decided for the moment for me
hugs blue, you may not feel it right now, but you are awesome sauce