I am glad that your brother is with family who can help him through this tough time in his life, and I am glad that he is in a safe place so you don't have to worry as much. I'll be sending warm thoughts and prayers your way as you and your family sort through all of this. For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing by asking for your family's help.

I sympathize with you because this story sounds a lot like me and my brother when we were kids. He is three years older than me, but we were still close. He has a vision problem and I have a speech impediment (stutter). When we were younger, I would be his eyes and he would be my lips (help me talk).

Today, he is almost 50 years old and I'm 46. He had did some things in his life that is embarrassing and he wanted to come and live in our home (near mom). I oppose of it because when he upsets mom, he can leave (usually that is what he does), then me and my younger brother (especially me) have to see the damage that brother caused mom. Meaning, she is constantly crying, worrying, and wishing that he would change. There is seven kids in my family but me and my youngest brother usually catch the emotions. I'm not talking about physical abuse but the pain of seeing emotional hurt.

I'll leave that alone but I just wanted to let you know that I can relate with you when you said that you and your brother was close back in the day. Sometimes I bet you wish that you can relive those moments again.....I wish my brother was like that again and not like how he is today.

thanks for the sympathy and support!

Ah. . . Why can't we just stick a screwdriver in their ears and torque those nuts?

Prayers in progress for your brother. Hold on to those good memories. They may come in handy one day. You never know.

Meanwhile. . . How are you holding up?

I feel awful. How can I not doubt everything I am when I know my formative years were shaped by complete nut bars and that I am also a complete nut bar?

There is more faith in an honest doubt than in all the scripture ever written. ~Thomas Merton

I ask that same question all the time, ds. The nuts from my family tree knock my noggin continually. My answer keeps shifting around so much that I am getting quicker to shrug off the question before I can formulate yet another answer, but. . . I keep on askin'. . .

Personally, I think I'll just let the mystery be. I am not at all sure the right answer will have the power to change a single fact.

Continued support while you find what works for you.

Big hug for you ds.... It's really important that your brother is part of dealing with hoarding and working through what he needs to in order to change this behaviour otherwise it will keep happening... It's the way he deals with life and pain.... He collects items/stuff


If he doesn't deal with the illness it will probably follow him to your folks home

There are full episodes of Hoarders on Youtube and there is healing to be had with help.....xo


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SE1uj3hrNA0

IMHO your mother shouldn't be doing this for him... He should be doing this with help and support from those who love him hopefully with the support of a therapist if possible...xo

I think she should at least help. She sold her hoarded house on the cheap instead of cleaning it. She was never held accountable for her neglect of her children or her hoarding. She sent us to a private school in mismatched clothes and poor hygiene as kids, of course we were bullied. Her verbal abuse and twisted feelings for my brothers damaged them. My parents taught us that the outside world would reject us, they isolated us. They used my brother as a chauffeur for years because they had crippled him socially and had him all to themselves. I don't feel bad at all if she cleans that apartment.

It's great that people are going to help him... If it's done 'for him' though it won't help him to overcome the illness of hoarding...

There are therapists that special in hoarding behaviour.... If he's part of the solution hopefully he can find a way to overcome this disorder with help.... I am so sorry that you've all suffered so badly... It's such a devastating illness.... Huge hug for you....xo

I wish I could get a therapist from the show Hoarders to help him. He won't admit there's anything wrong. It's like he's trapped in the web of my parents. My mother scared me on the phone last week, she said, "God has him now." I think she does believe she is God, or at least a Prophet. She told us she was a prophet all the time. She told me I was being possessed by a demon when I had a bladder infection once. She will at least send him to church and get him around other people. I feel like my hands are tied here. I have chosen to send him to the devil instead of the deep blue sea.

Thanks for all the hugs and support