Hi paula. I see that you have been on DS longer than I have, but I have not seen you in this forum before. Not sure if I should be welcoming you to the forum, or not. Maybe you are the one who should be welcoming me?

I think I know of what you speak. Back in the 90's, one of my pros called those, "Body Memories." The label works for me. Another called them, "Cellular Memories." Think I like "Body Memories" better. The theory goes that the parts of our bodies have memories of their own, quite independent of our intellectual memories. We cannot control them any more than we can control a need to sneeze. Fits my personal experience.

My own treatment for them is calming myself with grounding exercises while I ride them out. Easier said than done. . . But. . . It does seem like the more I work with the process, the faster and less destructively it passes. When I try to fight it, I am only beating up on myself. After it passes, I treat myself as though I am recovering from a physical illness or injury. Lots of extra gentle self-care.

My early efforts at this treatment were really, really hard, even with professional guidance. I have gotten better with practice, but it is still easier said than done. Every time still feels like the first time.

Gentle support while you find what works for you, paula.

TW*** Bath's are a trigger for me too because of my bio dad used to rub me "down there" during bath time when I was a toddler. This is a part of my memory that has come back and now I can't even take a bath without feeling aroused. It's sick and I wish it would stop but I've just stopped taking baths and shower only now.

My ability to be aroused has gone in the opposite direction, the more I've gotten in touch with my abuse memories in my PTSD recovery in the last 5 years or so. I'm not surprised or disturbed by it, since my therapist assures me that going to one of the extremes or the other is common in us sexual assault survivors. I don't beat myself up about having lost most of my sexual arousal. It doesn't have anything to do with whether I'm attracted to people in my life or not. I think it will come back at some point, too.

The same would go for me if the opposite were happening, right? So I hope you can be gentle with yourself about it. Much support to you.

Don't feel ashamed, its a mechanic response and doesn't say anything about you as a person. I used to find my sexual fantasies were unsettling too and wondered what was wrong with me. But its the same answer, just an involuntary response to what we went through. Can you distract yourself with a magazine or neutral book while you soak so you can still get the relaxing benefits of a bath without the intrusive memories?

thanks for all your comments guys. I will try and distrat myself in the bath with a book or something as I do like a soak..... thanks and ill take into account all of your replys paece and hugs x

Please keep sharing about it, paula. In the maze of my own injuries, these are very obscure infections that can seep into other parts like highly contagious motor oil. Personal awareness is not enough. It helps me ALLOT to have the added perspectives and reality checks of my therapy network. Maybe like I wouldn't treat residual complications of an internal physical injuries without help. The shrink who led me through my early treatments of "Body Memories" thought they were actual physical injuries that science cannot yet identify, much less measure. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around it while it is actually happening.

Gentle support while you sort your own.

the body remembers touch and it is natural as my therpist says when it happens i tell myself i need to be gentle i did not ask for it and i am a human with emotions if i feel shamed or dirty i self soothe journal or other grounding to remind me i have a human body i am in charge of it,, not always easy , gentle hugs and support

thanks everyone really appreciate all off your replys {
hugs to everyone and if anyone needs to chat im here and I do have groups you can join :)