In theory I really like New Year's Eve. I love fireworks, especially when there's so many that wherever you look, the entire sky is filled with them! The science behind them is also fascinating. In theory...

In practice, that's quite a different story. With two of my major triggers being the smell of alcohol and sudden, loud, banging noises, New Year's is the perfect recipe for things going pear shaped.

Two friends of mine are celebrating their birthdays on New Year's eve and they keep asking me to come. I want to go, since they've invited me and I feel it would be rude not to go, also don't want to isolate myself (something I'm prone to doing), on the other hand, it might be a bad idea for me to go and I don't even like parties (always being the only one completely sober is exhausting).

The two birthday people don't know about my PTSD, but two close friends of mine who do will be there, so they'd know what to do. And there is a chance that, as long as my insomnia doesn't act up and I have little stress in general (and none of my annoying family calls), everything goes well.

But with some bad luck I might end up with several hours of going in and out of flashbacks whether I go or not, but it's something I'd rather have happening at home than at a party.

I hate these kinds of flashbacks, when I keep losing touch with reality, especially for that long. It'll give me nightmares for several days and leaves me even more hyper-vigilant than usual for weeks. Sometimes the stress of it can even trigger one of my migraines and those are really no fun.

Guess I'll have to decide spontaneously, although that'll annoy everyone.
Thanks for listening! *hugs*