Yesterday I was suppose to start back to work but first had to go to the surgeon to have the rest of a cyst removed. Pretty simple thing but I got nervous when I realized it was only the male doctor in the room (thing was on my side so had a bit of breast exposure). It really hit me hard when he handed me a Readers Digest to look at while the local anesthetic took affect. Started paging but more I did, the more tense I got. I got up and put it back in the magazine pile and grabbed National Geography which I love. Still could not concentrate to read anything.

Doctor came back in and did the procedure- I was very quiet. He even asked if I was all right. Soon as he was done, I got dressed quickly and got out of there. My anxiety was becoming full blown panic. Was fighting tears to drive home, gasping for air. Got home, left work know I would not be in and immediately called a friend. Thank the gods that I have friends. We spoke for a while and came up with the surgery, though minor, was a stressor but the thing that really set me of was the Readers Digest magazine- my mother use to buy those thing all the time. They were all over the house. Had had them thrown at me. Good new in this is the company that publishes them is bankrupt and they may disappear soon. Hard to believe such small things bring back so many bad memories.