so.... was interested in being a dance extra in a small movie for a private wedding. Was excited, but two people in the group were from the studio that hurt me. Felt triggered, but I decided to go through with it. The one actually there seems nice and it was fun and wasn't even hired till after I left. 

But still felt flashbacks to the trauma (had an episode and was kicked in the groin from behind in '15, unprovoked and months after making one male dance teacher uncomfortable in one tango class; he's a black belt)...,

so, just gave the studio a one star review (no text) on Facebook and minutes later got a friend request from his dance partner, who I believe was an accomplice in the planned assault at the front door. So freaked out. Either it's a pity friend request to say she feels bad, or kind of a warning to stop making complaints. She is guilty as sin!! Immediately deleted request and review. Wow, I really have no rights even to make a wordless review.  This is why I have been careful to never post about them online; I'm really scared of them. My vagina is really scared of them!! I have no choices or voice here, that's what's hard to take. 

But then on Sunday the man becoming a priest from our parish was visiting. Finally got the courage to talk, just said generally that a man hurt me and they were connected on Facebook; he threw me by asking for the name of my assailant, I did not tell him. I did find out that he doesn't have any close friends who are dancers, so now I can sing in the choir when he is ordained without fear of seeing my ex dance instructor. I think he was relieved it involved the dance community and not the church. 

Good happening: my friend gave me a basket from an adult store. It had a vibrator in it, a mushroom shaped one for women's external parts. I had never been able to climax with a vibrator before being kicked, but now I'm able to! I read somewhere about "arousal changes" being part of what happened to me. Silver lining?