My best friend was at my house with a new boy who decided to only share his pot with her. When she came out of my room I could tell by her behavior that this was no ordinary pot she smoked. He had laced it with something and took advantage of her. Raped her. This was in the mid-80's when angel-dust was still making the rounds.
He admitted it later and disappeared.
Also I have seen reports lately that some pot has been engineered to have very high components of the stuff that messes you up with lower components of the stuff that makes you giggly. Reports say this has led to some incidents of temporary psychosis.

I suppose what really matters is that you have lasting trauma from this event and it may need to be addressed.

thanks..i honestly dont believe it was laced..i believe it was the intense amount that i smoked.

So...

Lemmie get this straight... You gave yourself PTSD?

You are not alone. Many people have suffered "bad trips" on many different kinds of drugs. I experienced one myself when I was 19. It was horrible and the shadow so strongly haunted me for so long I almost ended my life months later. To this day I still am haunted by the power of that terrible experience. It was pure emotion of a dark dark dark mood that seemed never ending.

I used to describe it as the terror and fear and panic of the worst situation one could be in then take away the situation and leave the emotions of terror and fear and panic.

It is important that qualified people make a diagnosis because different disorders will have similar symptoms.

The treatments can be quite different for the different disorders even though the disorders are so closely similar.

So it is a good thing to have a good diagnosis by qualified people trained to know the difference(s)... and....trained to know the proper treatment(s).

what was your trip from? do you feel any better at all? what helped?
and i dont appreciate nasty comments..and i wasnt trying to give myself ptsd..i experimented and thats what happened

I was just sayin'.....

Most of us got our PTSD from something external. That is, we had no control over the situation which gave us this horrible disorder.

so its my fault? it doesnt make my experience any less horrible to me. and you should know that when people say thingsd like that, it doesnt help

And to make myself clear, i dont need any more of your comments on my issue. this site is developed to help other people going through difficult times, not try and discourage them or make them feel guilty. Obviously, you have no idea how to go about your feelings the correct way, otherwise you would be understanding instead of trying to tear people down. So, no thankyou for any of your comments.

I just want to know why i cant get over this. i feel like im not on solid ground and like every day i could randomly hallucinate again even tho it only lasted while i was high. it stripped me of my control and its horrible..somebody please help

That pretty much sums it up for me too. As time went on the horribleness of it faded til it's a bad memory.

The main thing was the drug made me quickly be in that horrible state and there was no way to use any of my resources to feel better. The drug owned my emotional state of being.

It was a deluxe super-sized anxiety attack.

Diagnostic criteria

DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Panic Attack

A discrete period of intense fear or discomfort, in which four (or more) of the following symptoms developed abruptly and reached a peak within 10 minutes:

* Palpitations, or accelerated heart rate
* Sweating
* Trembling or shaking
* Muscle tension
* Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering
* Feeling of choking
* Chest pain or discomfort
* Nausea or abdominal distress
* Feeling dizzy, unsteady, lightheaded, or faint
* Derealization (feelings of unreality) or depersonalization (being detached from oneself)
* Fear of losing control or going insane
* Fear of dying
* Paresthesias (numbness or tingling sensations)
* Chills or hot flashes
* Weakness in the knees
* Confusion
* Blank mind
* Sensing time going by very slowly
* Feeling the need to escape

I am glad you shared your story. I never communicated with someone about this who could understand. I have felt a huge part of that darkness regarding this situation lift from me just now. I never viewed it as a monster panic attack. I had always framed it as a bad trip. Your reaching out has helped me immensely.

Im so glad Marc, you have made me feel not alone in this as well! Maybe we can help eachother! Thankyou for your support and help!

PTSD can be a result of any experience that makes us feel out of control and in danger. Everyone's trauma is different - It's the after-effects that (unfortunately) are the same.

I was told for years that the doctor who hurt me was "only doing his job." And he was. I was there to have something done, and he did it. So I should just forget it, and not act all upset about it. It wasn't until I could finally tell myself it was OKAY to feel upset about it that I could finally start healing.

Have you ever seen a therapist to help with these feelings? The fear about the trauma returning is very common, leading to most of our symptoms. A good trauma therapist is a huge help in teaching us how to comfort ourselves and learn to deal with these fears so that they no longer own us. Do make sure your therapist is a trauma specialist, as a regular therapist can sometimes make PTSD worse.

There's a really good book called "I Can't Get Over It." Maybe it will help you; it did me.

Also, reading about marijuana from a neutral site might be helpful, because you can bring your demon down to earth by learning both the good and the bad about it. If you read about its properties, you can teach yourself whether you are likely to experience any after-affects from it. You can also read accounts from people who find it helpful (when used in the right amounts), which may make it seem less of a demon to you, and help you with your terrible experience.

One good site for learning the goods and bads of any drug is www.erowid.org. Be warned, though, that they do have accounts of drug use (both good and bad) written by people who have experienced it, and some may be triggering for you. Only read them if you feel up to it, and give yourself time afterward for self-comfort.

I hope this helps. If you don't think it will, ignore it. :-)
Sending you good thoughts,
Wistala

Thankyou so much for your kind and helpful words. That truly does help me alot. I started seeing a regular therapist but she charges 90 a 45 minute session, and i cant afford it. It truly was intense and a great first session though, so i hate to leave her because i feel like i was able to break down that wall and felt relieved that she didnt think i was crazy, but i cant afford it. I need to find one for trauma. thankyou again

Some people should be banned from these sites, like the ones who make unhelpful comments.

If u have an opinion that may upset someone, keep it to urself

i agree. thankyou!