So tomorrow I have an appointment with this doctor that has been trying to help me with my jaw problems. I’m kinda nervous this whole jaw thing has been so hard on me physically & emotionally. The amount I have been hit in my face & other horrible abuse to my face & jaw & times of having to put my jaw back into place myself..... well there are just no words. I have many injuries my neck,back wrists ect. But nothing compares to the physical & mental trauma this whole jaw things been bringing me. I’ve tried to keep it stabilized as much as I can & only been eating soft foods when I can, also can barely talk. If I do talk or try to eat it’s very painful it even goes down my shoulder into my arm & fingers I don’t really know how to explain it. I’m afraid for tomorrow & afraid I just want it to get one bit better it’s been so long of pain & fear about this. I’m afraid of all the possibilities & of all the other health stuff & pain I go through, I just really really need this to heal for sanities sake. I don’t want to be broken forever. I want to heal something, I just feelin like I really need something to go rite even if it’s just one thing. This doctor knows what happened to me & sometimes that makes me feel weird, he’s really nice though, but sometimes that even scares me cause I always have this fear that if someone’s nice to me (especially doctors) that they’re gonna turn on me I know that probably doesn’t make sense it’s just another one of those issues I have. I’m just scared & really want to be okay.

Well .... gotta keep truckin