arf i am amazed you have a family with all the trauma u survived i think you must have a huge heart,,,your story breaks my heart, i think you are a good friend on here,,,, you comfort you shoot it straight you do your best to be fair and square,,, you dont throw in jabs and basically say the truth and yet no matter how analytical you seem your warmth and caring come through,,,, ,,hmmmmm sounds like that is how you be,, a friend ,,,

For sure, my most enduring friendships have been out of my peer support network, but even there I don't seem to be good at keeping up. We drift away from them when one of us moves to another healing phase.

Out in the cultured, human world, I can't seem to get a handle on it, at all. It has been suggested I could start with house-breaking. Is there something bad about campfires on hardwood floors? S'mores are good share food. . .

Feels like I am missing something important.

I found friendship hard to understand for most of my life. I lived on the peripheral of the world...my safe zone. Those that I was supposed to trust were the teachers of that life.
But then, I met a few that wanted just for me to be at ease, better. John wasn't the first but he stayed the longest. It's easier to care when the people that want the best for you, mat need support too. Understanding that hurt is human, as much as joy. So , slowly as I was ready one person at a time more were added. People I would go to painful places to help when they needed it, because they had done so for me. I lovingly call them the posse.
I may have lost them all now, John included, but I remember the feeling. I am slowly adding them here in small steps, like learning to walk again ( I had to learn that at seven) Small steps, rest, test the waters, evaluate and take a few more.
Though I am still learning to accept that I am worthy, I find more people each day that are worthy of that to me...most here.

I think I am with Jewells. I like a lot what she has written and it rings true with the relationships I have had and I am now starting to build. It is a scary thing to put my foot out there and to accept some people are not bad, we just aren't right for each other. I believe to be a friend is different for everyone and every friendship has its different needs and gifts. Being friendly and letting someone into my bubble is very different. It is not easy.