Complain on, good buddy. All that be worthy of complaint, and then some. Aside from venting the gaseous build ups from it all, a good bitch session can even help focus the problems and sometimes even produce a solution or two.

Zen proverb: Fear does not exist to make us afraid. It exists to warn us of danger.

It helped me, personally, allot to start taking my fear seriously, as a part of my natural warning system. Validating my fears made it possible to work with them instead of adding to my already cumbersome list of adversaries. It also helped me keep them in perspective. They are not some big, nasty demon. Just an irritating alarm, no meaner than the idiotic smoke alarm that went off for my burnt toast.

Given the extent of my own cPTSD, my fear most often warns me that my symptoms are bubbling up again, and that's a fair and appreciated warning. However... Before I get my psycho-tool box out, I go ahead and do an inventory of my surroundings. No obvious danger there??? Time to open the tool box.

Seems to work for me. Gentle support while you find what works for you, sean.

complain away! For me, it feels as if every layer of pain I remove unleashes another layer of fear that leads ot pain that leads to... I'm an onion of crap, basically. Whenever I get emotional with pain/insecurity/fear, I know another layer's stripping off.

Take ti slow and gentle.


Peace to you,
Leo

You're not alone, it's a familiar experience to us here. I got to the point of being afraid of not being afraid. That's how extreme. It was like arfie said, fear is a danger warning. I had so many people I should have been able to trust abuse me at home, in church, in all kinds of places. I got to where if my fear radar wasn't on I thought something worse was about to happen.

I still have to cope with it, but over time I've developed some skills to work and have a functional life. I don't live with anyone else, because of my startle response and so forth. I have flashbacks at work every day, but mostly I've learned to work around them. I need the job because I need the benefits. I have kidney failure now from too many years of PTSD meds, so I need health care benefits.

I cannot be fixed on a couple of levels. Chronic kidney failure is incurable and so is PTSD. Treatable. Complaining, therefore, is allowed for you and me both. Surprisingly, the bar for happiness for me has been lowered so far that stopping the progress of PTSD and CKD has become something I celebrate. After a big crash in 2011, that's happened now. So believe it or not, I'm happy with that in my own little individual definition of happiness just for me.

Others don't understand that, including doctors, but they haven't been through the last 5 years I've been through. I don't care, because they're not me. It may seem crazy, but I'm happy CKD and PTSD haven't gotten worse. I know it's not much, but it's a lot for me to accomplish given what happened pre 2011 in my life. I lost my job, my fiancee, my family, everything, when that double health crash of PTSD and CKD happened then. I was alone in an apartment with no money, nobody, and no health on my couch just waiting to die in May of 2011. I don't know how to explain the abandoned terror of what it felt like in words. I'm just glad I don't feel that way now and I have people to talk to here who get it.

Sorry this happened to me also and then to my daughter and yes it knocked out of the water all other trauma I'd experienced. My daughter was turning three. I now know just how hard it is to really have safety in place even at church which right now is the only place I leave my kids. My daughters abuse was from my step dad.

No place is safe and somehow we have to rely on our little kids to tell us if some very experienced and manipulative sociopath is hurting them. The other day my son didn't want to go to music lessons and the first thing I asked was did he do anything to make you feel uncomfortable. Ughh this world is just really shitty sometimes.

Thanks everyone.

Don't worry about "being fixed" I'm pretty sure there isn't a place in our life where we just arrive at fixed but I do hope that your life improves little by little and bit by bit as you apply new tools and resources to the problem. I've also figured out that happy isn't a place I will arrive either it is more I can cope with the negative in such a way as to not feel completely bowled over by it. Of course easier said than done but at least I've stopped looking for happily ever after and settled for the ups and downs that mark most peoples lives.

i understand how you feel i feel that way ill get hurt if i go out there hug min fee lbetter complain away