Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I am tired and stressed, and could use some support because I feel like I have run out of my own self-support reserves.
I need brain surgery and that has me scared. My doctors have been talking about this procedure for years and my insurance is finally going to be finding me a bigger clinic to have the procedure done at. I already went through the ambiguous grieving process over it, but find myself feeling anxious about it all the same. I am not used to anxiety.
In the meantime my doctors have increased some of my medications and that has left me feeling exhausted. My doctors warned me I would feel more tired, but I didn't expect to be a zombie. I can't stop taking the medication, and I can't reduce it, because I lose my ability to walk when I do. I see a specialist Wednesday because the increased medications may have caused internal bleeding.
I feel like a lost drifter; I'm not doing the things I want to be doing or should be doing (like school) but I'm not sick enough I can just go to the hospital and "be fixed" (although I realize it doesn't work that way). Instead, I am a zombie at home going stir-crazy by myself, watching the people I should be in class with running around being professionals.
I know every race requires pit-stops, and this is all somewhere in my journey, I am just having trouble making sense of it all.
I need brain surgery and that has me scared. My doctors have been talking about this procedure for years and my insurance is finally going to be finding me a bigger clinic to have the procedure done at. I already went through the ambiguous grieving process over it, but find myself feeling anxious about it all the same. I am not used to anxiety.
In the meantime my doctors have increased some of my medications and that has left me feeling exhausted. My doctors warned me I would feel more tired, but I didn't expect to be a zombie. I can't stop taking the medication, and I can't reduce it, because I lose my ability to walk when I do. I see a specialist Wednesday because the increased medications may have caused internal bleeding.
I feel like a lost drifter; I'm not doing the things I want to be doing or should be doing (like school) but I'm not sick enough I can just go to the hospital and "be fixed" (although I realize it doesn't work that way). Instead, I am a zombie at home going stir-crazy by myself, watching the people I should be in class with running around being professionals.
I know every race requires pit-stops, and this is all somewhere in my journey, I am just having trouble making sense of it all.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
Though now that is out of the way you have that reality of getting it done. More than enough to feed the fear.
Hugs in support and ....Be strong enough to ask for help like this, we are here. Taking care of you is enough. I know that the financial help you mentioned does help, but get better. Ask for a medical stay on the school stuff.
Jewell.
Prayers in progress, Alice. It is allot to process. Be gentle with yourself and patient with the process, especially when it doesn't make sense. Hope healing happens here.
I got a decent amount of rest last night and that seems to have helped a bit emotionally.
Jewells- I think you hit it it spot on. It was really late when I posted this and I should have gone to bed sooner. I also have a medical stay; I am on it now. I was lucky enough that my school was willing to help me and work with me before the semester started, but it puts me a semester behind my peers. They are all off doing productive and awesome things and I am sitting at home watching the world go by.
Lilac- thank you for the support.
Arfie - I am not sure what you mean when you talk about sensory standards being different than intellectual senses?
Milla - the medication they increased is not related to PTSD. I have a severe neurological condition that requires medication; it exists fully separate from my PTSD and while my PTSD may exacerbate some of the symptoms, it does not cause them (if that makes sense). You are right though that meds don't fix things; I don't need the neurological issues to go away completely (and even with surgery they likely won't), I just need them to be manageable and livable. I'd like to go back to class and work in my career and chase my daughter; I don't need to be able to climb mountains. You know?
gentle hugs and comforting thoughts heading your way, oh! and peace, I wish for you some peace right now