Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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The Worst Feeling ...

StrengthofMind
StrengthofMind

I think the worst feeling I've ever felt is that of being seemingly invisible ... non-existant.  My needs are minimal; I've learned to be self reliant and creative and strong. It's not often that I reach out for help or support. When I do, whatever brings me to that point is serious, usually life threatening as it is now and I find myself feeling invisible even though I'm crying out. Before cPTSD sidelined me I spent a lifetime supporting, giving, helping those that I could and those that I couldn't I tried to help them find a way to get their basic needs met. I am stupid enough to believe that what goes around comes around; pay it forward. I've never been more wrong in my life. The monumental struggle and battle I've waged these past few years to stay alive each day has been for naught. I cannot get through this alone. I have an enemy inside my body (cancer); I don't even know the primary origin of it yet but I feel it's already won. My strength is spent. I have no more will, no fight. I am as weak and vulnerable as the day I came into this world. I am but a whimper that will fade away I suppose.

MaryContrary
MaryContrary
Hugs
arfie
arfie
My therapy supporters, both pro and peer, seem pretty unanimous in their opinions that calling invisibility, "My Super Power" is somewhere between repression and delusion. Going by that measuring stick, I put my super power closer to delusion than repression. I believe proof is available that if **they** can't see me, **they** can't stop me, but there is plenty of room to debate just how invisible I really am. Faith in my own invisibility has gotten me arrested more than once.

I s'pose there is also room to debate the repression within the conditions which convinced me I had this super power to begin with. . . 5th of 11 children crammed into the back of a station wagon in a travelling freak show. . . The times I felt invisible might have been the happiest moments of my childhood. Maybe. I'm not sure which yardstick to measure by.

Gentle empathy, S.O.M. It be a mind-warping space to navigate.
Bluebird20
Bluebird20
sorry to hear
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug......xo
mtd
mtd
Have you been diagnosed with cancer or is it just your belief that you have it? Being “ invisible” carries a lot of meaning, but the reality is that we are all equal and are desired in the eyes of God, after all, it is He who created you and me. Another reality is that as we are all equal, no one is better than another. We all won’t be the life of the party or the scientist who discovers cures for diseases, but within each one of us are traits that make us all unique. You aren’t invisible, you have something to offer.
Tropicaloo
Tropicaloo
You’re not invisible here strength. You deserve more maybe but we both know the world isn’t a fair place. A lot of people empathise with your battle and your strength. I have often wondered what I would do in the same situation and have decided acceptance would be my greatest tool, but I don’t have a lot to leave behind either. Easier said than done I know.
Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Yeah, abuse and neglect are both equally damaging, the neglect of being ignored, erased is not neutral. It's great you're here, Strength, and have a voice with us. We hear you, you're not alone.
StrengthofMind
StrengthofMind
mtd ... I am not one to say I have cancer unless it has been verified. What an insensitive, insulting question/inference!!!!!! Way to go and kick somebody when they are down!!!! Don't give me the all created equal ... my childhood trauma (first memory till 21) robbed me of ever being on an equitable basis in this world. I am not alone in that plight (I'm in rather good company) I had a LOT to offer and DID despite the many challenges I had to overcome. Right now I am tired, weak and just don't have the energy.

I won't be back ... I have solid boundaries and you've crossed them.
lilmissy7
lilmissy7
I’m so sorry Strength,
I hope you continue to reach out when you need support. I care, you have my empathy

Sending support, strength & many prayers
Gentle hug <3
905sue
905sue
You are loved!!! Please believe that!!! We all are pressed from every side hang in there God will come through!!!
rose07042k
rose07042k
Strength I understand. Sending you a lot of support. I agree you are loved. You are not invisible. People and life can cause feeling of invisible but you aren't. We see you because you log on and share. Here at DS no one is invisible because we are here for each other. Keep propelling forwards my friend.
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