Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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The "community center" I found here on the Ohio River side of the confluence has the name of a religion in its front yard. No, I will not divulge the name. I do not believe that is important here in this forum. I have considerable belief that greater healing is accomplished without pre-ordained agendas of any stripe. I believe the mysteries of healing are far too great to fit in any book collection or area of expertise.
I call my own spiritual development, "The Schism of the Isms." My parents, their 11 offspring and the two succeeding generations are followers of everything from paganism to Atheism to whateverism. I have wondered often if we have kept our minds so open that our brains have fallen out.
Don't know where this is going. Just running it up the flag pole to see if anybody salutes.
Off to my meeting. Believing I need to break my carbaric isolation. In functional fact, I am far more isolated behind my closed car doors than behind the closed doors of the Austin homestead. I just prefer the scenery changes outside my car doors. . .
Hoping I will find thoughts and opines when I return. It's okay if the discussion has been removed by then. . .
I call my own spiritual development, "The Schism of the Isms." My parents, their 11 offspring and the two succeeding generations are followers of everything from paganism to Atheism to whateverism. I have wondered often if we have kept our minds so open that our brains have fallen out.
Don't know where this is going. Just running it up the flag pole to see if anybody salutes.
Off to my meeting. Believing I need to break my carbaric isolation. In functional fact, I am far more isolated behind my closed car doors than behind the closed doors of the Austin homestead. I just prefer the scenery changes outside my car doors. . .
Hoping I will find thoughts and opines when I return. It's okay if the discussion has been removed by then. . .
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
I noted your saying " In functional fact, I am far more isolated behind my closed car doors than behind the closed doors of the Austin homestead." So wherever you may be, know that you're not isolated with us along, arfie.
But there is still that species specific hardwiring that needs physical contact. . . Double damn. . . Humans smell so-o-o-o much better over the internet!
I am in Metropolis, Illinois. They really do have a Superman museum here.
Was this planned or unplanned ?
Are you staying in touch with your husband ?
Are there certain things that have to happen before you're interested in returning home ??
I'm sorry. Truly sorry. This doesn't sound like it has its roots in 'vacation,' to me. And I say that knowing what was going on at home....
My departure was -I have been telling the story here and do not feel like it is ready for condensation. Let's just call it, "Not as wished for."
But the fantasy planning has been in the hopper since I started playing, "Where in the world can I go next?" rather than face the high school official who looked straight past my GPA to my family name in 1968. The river boat portion of my private game sure has gotten fat since 1968. The real time version I am playing now is somewhere between well fantasized and unplanned. I have worked with less. . .
At some point, the vagabond thing ... gets kind of old.
Hugs.
But I is what I is and I ain't what I ain't. Extreme geographical instability is my base conditioning. A throw-away kid from a throw-away family, 1950's style. Among the many stories the "Happy Days" producers wouldn't touch. . .
Thanks 52. . .
But. . . While I can fearfully accept that human culture endorses the notion of throw-away people, not even at my most anthrophobic can I endorse the notion of adding to the human landfills. Just part of why I am anthrophobic. . .
Willing to let the family go, but would rather not send 'em to the toxic people dump. . . Looking for the balance. The 1977 therapy funeral is regurgitating like a habenero soy burger, even with the extra care taken to add compassion to the ceremony.
I came here as a widow, but there was so much more that the loss of my husband and the loss of his support exploded on me.
DSPTSD is my main home. Calypso is my peace. For the most part it is just right.
I close off from some I know will hurt me (that'd be survival) but I *was* a "throwaway*....
Yet I need my species. (Drat!) The same one that terrifies me or disgusts me. (And I include myself in that, so it gets prettytangled in this head.)
Enjoy the ramble, and the experiences. The only thing I ever got from a cage was a view. Living and experiencing? A gift.
Splurged on a pair of hiking boots and a back pack today. I hate shoe shopping almost as much as I hate breaking in new shoes, but. . . I forgot my broke-in hiking shoes in Austin. Not sure where all my backpacks disappeared to. Been looking for one for a while, but figured it would just disappear, too. My dog doesn't use a backpack voluntarily, so I bet I get to keep this one, at least until I get back to the homestead.
An old gal's gotta do what she gotta do. . .
Well, most of htem. I do believe some are born soulless, with "something else" living in there, but that's going in a whole other direction...
Point being, if you are not comfortable "throwing away", then maybe "shelve" it? Give it a dusting off now and then, see how it looks?
I suck at metaphors. Travel safe, and enjoy the wilderness area:-)
I wrapped them in healing hopes and turned them over, each to their own Higher Power. Detachment with love.
No ex spurting here. Strictly personal.