Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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sigh. Big major things don't usualy trigger me. It is the little things that just freak me out. Looking at the things that trigger me is actually a really silly list...
Hubby overdrawing the bank account by $9 sent me shaking in the bedroom for more than an hour. Actually, two hours later, I am still shaking. $9. Yeah, nine whole dollars.
Phones. Good calls. Bad calls. Even just the sound of a phone ringing can set me off. Like the noise from a phone is going to eat me.
Someone coming into the house. It could be my best friend, but even if the house is clean I freak out sure that they are going to disapprove.
What other silly triggers do I have?
The thought that hubby or daughter might maybe be upset at something I have done/failed to do/said/or failed to say can flip me right off the edge for days!!! Of course it leaves the family looking at me like I am nuts, but heck I sort of am!!
Any other silly triggers out there??
Maybe we can laugh them out of existence!!
Hubby overdrawing the bank account by $9 sent me shaking in the bedroom for more than an hour. Actually, two hours later, I am still shaking. $9. Yeah, nine whole dollars.
Phones. Good calls. Bad calls. Even just the sound of a phone ringing can set me off. Like the noise from a phone is going to eat me.
Someone coming into the house. It could be my best friend, but even if the house is clean I freak out sure that they are going to disapprove.
What other silly triggers do I have?
The thought that hubby or daughter might maybe be upset at something I have done/failed to do/said/or failed to say can flip me right off the edge for days!!! Of course it leaves the family looking at me like I am nuts, but heck I sort of am!!
Any other silly triggers out there??
Maybe we can laugh them out of existence!!
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
People falling down, same thing. I heard a loud thump from my neighbor above the other day, probably from dropping something, and it shook me up for 5 hours.
My mom sleeping too much. My dad was an alcoholic and left and my single working mom was sick all the time when I was a young kid. I had to clean, make meals and wake her up to say goodnight.
Being around people is very stressful and depressing.
Any kind of bigotry or prejudice really makes me mad.
I instantly begin squinting, seeing spots in front of my eyes and looking for the "Tween Demons." Those mythical beings that live in the 'Tween spaces, such as the shadows created by artificial light. The brighter the light, the deeper the shadow...
2) Profound silence.
I have experienced intermittent hearing loss my entire life. The possibility of it becoming permanent terrifies me. When I visit a place of profound silence, I need to leave periodically to make noises which verify that it is the house and not my physiology.
One soul's trigger is another soul's consolation. I don't want to do away any of these pieces of the world. I only want to hold steady when confronted with them... To balance the volatile mix within me which the triggers hit. Yes, I believe laughter is a good agent for the balancing.
"You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself." ~Ethel Barrymore
One of my worst is a crying child. Doesn't matter why---wet diaper, skinned knee--- I just lock up and feel sick to my stomach.
I don't feel like the overdrawn bank account is silly. I grew up in a house where stability was an unknown. We moved 30 times growing up, didn't always have food, and sometimes money to pay bills or get essentials. For me money in the bank and food in the pantry is an absolute necessity for my well-being, otherwise I freak out.
And I have a lot....black bags, beard, people who look like my father, a certain song, strawberry cheesecake ice cream. The list goes on.