Sorry for the bad night. Sometimes my PTSD gets the better of me and I feel like ending it. You learn to get over it and time... lots of time passes. Can you write about the trauma? Some of my journal entries really helped me.

Thor is on target. Putting those words out takes some of the power away. Next is developing some grounding techniques. May take some time to find which tools work for you, but you will. We don't recover in isolation. Many replies include tools others have used. It does take work to get to manageability. Hugs.

That's why I come here, too, North. Naming it taming for me. When my PTSD runs wild, venting it with words works. I got it from Viktor Frankl, that psychiatrist who survived Hitler's death camps during the Holocaust.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viktor_Frankl

He called it "logotherapy" or word therapy and wrote Man's Search for Meaning. He lived to be over 90 years old, so I'm trying his method out. So far so good, even through this pandemic.

Big hug for you Northern..... I agree a lot of us have these thoughts...…. I tell myself that this is part of the disorder and a thought doesn't require an action

If you think that the thoughts get too strong I would call your doctor

I also agree that grounding thoughts have helped me a great deal and they work quickly..... xo

Hi, are you feeling better? My inbox is always open if you need to talk. We are here for you.

Northern, I can relate to what your feeling. I often can’t sleep because of nightmares and flashbacks, Hang in there. Try some relaxation skills to help calm the PTSD symptoms. Like others mention, journaling is helpful and brings out details you haven’t thought of before. I also use a weighted blanket to calm me. Somehow it works to relieve my symptoms by calming me. I hope you find peace. Best wishes.

Hey guys thanks for replying, I have some very tough days. I do a lot of exercise and I have to give myself credit to do that despite how I am feeling. I know a lot of you are recommending I write things down, it's very tough for me to do so and I know I must try I just don't have the discipline

Hey, it's shit, there's no denying it. I'm not even gonna go there and try and be positive, the first month after leaving my narc mom was awful I dissociated a lot and had constant suicidal thoughts. I'm not being positive here, but realistically, it's a process. Don't panic at having the urge to end it. Don't blame yourself for feeling like you're not making progress, because this is all part of the healing process to relapse at some points. This stuff isn't linear like hollywood (like always goddammit) makes it out to be, and how you recover is completely your own personal process. I know it's a bit weird coming from a teen, but hang in there dude, even if you don't want to. There's much more for you to be than a patient.

Exercise helps me, NorthernSoul. I put on a mask and go out late at night (for social distancing) for a 30 minute walk every night. Our fellow DS PTSD member Rizen and I post about it in our Walk A Day thread here.
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/discussion/walk-a-day

If you exercise and want to post about there, feel free to join us. It's hard to exercise and nobody knows, it's hard to keep the discipline up like that all alone. It helps just to have a witness day by day who knows we're doing it one day at a time.