This is,such a complex subject.. And so subjective ...
PTSD is often discovered ..(dx?) long after the "I do's" are said..
Then it can either strengthen a marriage ... Or bring out every weakness to the surface... It seems to depend on so many factors.
Effective treatment for the patient... In depth of understanding and compassion by the spouse... And the list goes on...
It can often be affected by deep,faith or lack of ..
I was suffering for years from PTSD... I destroyed many friendships and it affected two marriages ...but it was not until I was finally in treatment ... Did I see that PTsD was not going to destroy me..
I,came to faith and was baptized during these years
Still I struggled and still I,was in deep need of therapy ...
I suspect my reply was not an answer... But let me say this
PTSD is treatable and it is a condition that can be overcome ...
I am , I believe , a more understanding and stronger person because I faced this hell... Blessings to you

I would say yes for many people - if they want to be in a relationship it can be very stabilizing.

BUT, like all marriages there has to be a commitment to interpersonal communication and mutual problem solving. There has to be mutual respect. It is an ongoing process that requires determination. I am not saying the love takes work, but the complications of life and PTSD management take determined effort.

There's so much more to a lasting marriage than dealing with PTSD. But if you find someone who takes the vows "for better or for worse; in sickness and in health" seriously, then yes, I'd think it's possible.

I think it takes a unique combination of people, a lot of love and patience, and a ton of strength on both parts.

I know a girl who has been in rehab (which didn't work), wrecked cars, has been arrested, and is generally in a fog 24/7. Her husband is a sales executive who works hard and puts a nice roof over her jobless head.

He still looks at her like she's the greatest person on earth. She depends on him. Somehow, they work. So who knows.

It has been speculated that my severe PTSD is one of the reasons I am approaching my 33rd anniversary in a few weeks. Even if we hire lawyers before that anniversary, we have still outlasted the national average. My ongoing personal struggle has forced my husband and I to stay focused on the personal realities of what is pulsing between us instead of getting lost in the cultural oughts and naughts. It is a union between one man and one woman keeping it strictly personal. He and I are the only plural in our relationship.

But then, we are currently living separately. The notion that our union is far bigger than a single address is one of our cornerstones.

I did for 16 years. Of course, now I'm a statistic on the divorce side of the equation, but those 16 years weren't nothing, and I was a peaceful, faithful provider who was very stable even as undergoing extensive PTSD therapy.

It was a lot a of work. Living alone now is easier for me with my PTSD, just starting with my startle response not being triggered by another under foot around the house. But my PTSD was not the end of the marriage, in my case. In fact, being diagnosed I know I took more care in my marriage as a result.

I'm sure you'll find cases in which PTSD is the cause for ending a marriage, of course. But the high divorce rate in the US today has many other contributing factors having nothing to do with PTSD. I don't think having PTSD makes us completely allergic to marriage.

As always, I think you received some truly excellent responses.

I also think "it depends on when the trauma occurred (before or during the marriage)" can be a factor.

Mine was during the marriage, and over a couple of years. My wife -- not in so many words, but ... -- views this as my problem to solve.

She'll BE there (which is nice, I guess), but ... that's about it.

I don't *think* that's enough, generally, or in my case. I think it takes two to tango.

Generally speaking, I think one person CAN be the force of change within a relationship.

But I think that's a much harder mountain to climb. I've tried very hard to avoid the "expectations trap," but I still have some expectations of a partner. Those might prove pointless, if not counter-productive/destructive.

Yeah. I think it's a question with an infinitely complicated number of infinitely complicated variables, and no easy answer.

Like humans :-)

But ... just like the individual trying to manage their PTSD ... I don't think a *couple* can thrive -- with PTSD in the relationship -- by doing nothing, and hoping that it will just go away.

I think the word "commitment" speaks volumes, in many respects.

I wish you peace, health, strength, commitment, and happiness ... and I have no idea which outcome is more likely to bring you closer to those things.

Just as I have no idea which will bring ME closer to those things.

Yet ;-)

It depends on the reaction factor of the one with PTSD. And the consistency of the one with out it.
My first marriage , his PTSD almost killed me
My second,which took a long time for me to agree on. Ended with until death do us part. He was my comfort, protection, councilor, friend and mate. He stayed consistent in his love and belief in me, when I couldn't.

Never being married its heart warming to hear it can be done by people who have done it. Now i just need faith that i will find someone who will stick it out with me lol

I'm not married, but I have been in my current relationship for almost 10 years. Some say that's longer than most marriages today. But I have a great relationship and I have PTSD. What I do know is that u need to be honest with the other half about how you are and triggers etc... I found just being open and honest just works.

Hi, I don't respond much on this forum as I am usually in a different forum but I definitely have PTSD diagnosed by not one, not two, but three different doctors and a therapist. That being said- I also have been married to a man for almost 18 years now. We have had our bumps along the way- but we have survived and we love each other. I will not say that we are super strong but we work on it every day. It takes a LOT of work and a LOT of commitment and a LOT of staying when you really just want to throw each other threw a window. It is not an easy thing for anyone to do- not just people with PTSD. :) I do hope that helped.

Yes, it's good to hear. I agree. Even though my marriage ended after 16 years, I'm proud of every one of those years. The end was not due to PTSD but her infidelity that came from issues with her father years before I even met her. It takes two to tango, and each of us brought the usual human and therefore complicated factors to the mix.

In fact, I think my spouse missed out on the best growth spurt of my life that made me come into my own as a person when I finally turned the corner on PTSD treatment. Marriage just takes a lot of commitment and work, PTSD or not, these days, and it's great you and your spouse are willing to put the work in. Again, good to hear.