Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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So Depressed TW

Preciousbabygirl
Preciousbabygirl

It's like the rug was pulled out from under me. My tdoc yesterday told me to take responsibility for my own past instead of blaming others for not having a happy childhood. So what? Is it my fault the my uncle raped me when I was 3? Is it my fault that my uncle sold me for drugs when I was 9 and sat back and allowed me to be gang raped? Is it my fault that he got me pregnant and then killed that baby when I was 13? I mean what part of this am I supposed to take responsibility for?? Is it my fault that I was kidnapped and held for 17 hours and repeatedly raped when I was 17? What part of this am I taking on?? This is a need to know question. What part of this is my fault??? Does anyone know the answer to that or do I need to seek the answer elsewhere?

Preciousbabygirl
Preciousbabygirl
A few calls were made against him yesterday and he'll get his. In the meantime I have a depression to battle. I finally figured out that no, it wasn't my fault. What does a three year old know? How can a nine year old defend herself against ten guys? I mean what was this asshole thinking when he said that to me?? He wasn't!
Community LeaderLeo
Leo
Sorry to chime in late, Presh, but I can guarantee he's in that school of "therapy" that means whatever happens to us is all about "The Secret" and we msut've somehow "attracted the energies".... A philosophy that's cute for a t-shirt, but if you take it to its logical conclusion, it means the Holocaust happneed b/c its victims "attracted" it. WHAT?! Exactly. We can only control ourselves, and ultimately, we can only do that when we are *free* to do so. That's not something kids have. So I hope karma gets that guy. Just remember, puma power to you:-)
Preciousbabygirl
Preciousbabygirl
Thanks Leo, and everybody! You guys helped me get through this and have a different outlook on it and now I feel better where as this morning I felt like I just wanted to die! So thank you for your patience and understanding!!
gramybear
gramybear
While reading your post and all the other responses, my heart was breaking for you. I don't think any Psychiatrist should take on any patient unless they have lived through what they have. I had a Therapist tell me I had the eyes of a witch. Never went back. I didn't need more crap added to what I already was trying to deal with. I hope you can get someone that truly understands. I know we do. Big Hugs. Gramybear
jewells1
jewells1
I am with you Gramy, But the other side of me wonders if they could handle it. I am trying to find out. I have a long list of experiences, most of which I would never wish on anyone, Some reactive behaviors are something they can learn about in study, though many of the texts draw a line in the real world graphics of them. I find them to be kool aid in comparison. But what goes on in the head of the person going through it? They can only rely on observation and our ability to communicate. Communication comes in so many forms too, so they must also be multilingual whether it's body language, tone of voice or avoid-ant terminology. You can tell a lot by what someone says or the ways they choose not to say something.

Presh, I am glad you can see that you had no control, so it is on them.
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