No reason to include small town in that title. I just like the movie Sleepless in Seattle. 

I have been trying to have fences instead of walls. I need really really thick sturdy tall fences with my parents but fences still. Or maybe they’re walls. I don’t know. I do know that I am hesitant and terrified to tell others anything and when I have trusted people the often let me down. I have had a problem with fixers. I don’t even see it happening that they want a project and I share too much. I have had a problem with picking people who don’t even respond to emotions I share. They tell me it’s okay to tell them I’m not okay, that they want to be supportive and then they say nothing or belittle the feelings or change the subject. I have also chosen people who “care” so they can take advantage of the hurts. This is sad and has me truly believing that no one is who they say they are. That is heartbreaking to me. I have two good friends with seemingly good family lives and I’ve known them a long time. They’re both men and I say good friends because they’re hilarious and kind and we have all helped each other with something and accidentally hurt each other or watched each other make stupid mistakes and laughed at it. We are not emotionally close. We just work really well together. I tell them they’re my brothers. I trust them more than I trust others. But I also don’t trust that they’re actually good humans. I think everyone puts on a show and is either a monster or an emotional wreck at home and I know the world is not black and white but I can’t stop believing that no one is a safe person. 

Paranoia

Hypervigilance

All kinds of wrong right?