Called my therapist and told him I needed help desperately.....plead for help. He told me to have a happy holiday and hung up on me.
I'm one of those people who have ALWAYS been there for people when they needed help.....many times strangers.
Now that I need help and asked for it there is nobody there. He promised me he would always be there for me. He was in it for the long run.
I can't let anybody hurt me again. This is it. I'm done. I hurt so bad I can't even explain the pain. Unloved, unwanted. My whole life. I wasn't even allowed to eat meals with the rest of the family. I had to eat in my closet. I didn't have a bed, bedroom growing up. I was so stupid to trust again. No, never again. The pain, the pain, the pain. Never goes away. I'm 59 and have never been hugged. Not by parents,siblings, those I thought were friends but only used me. Not one single hug in my entire life. I've accomplished a great deal in my career.....raised millions upon millions of dollars to build medical centers for excellence which help thousands of people. Raised millions of dollars for scholarships for higher education. Yet I can't get one to help me or even loan me five bucks for a burger. CPTSD ruined me for life. I wonder why I bothered to fight so hard to survive daily torture and gang rapes for 15 years. Every man in my life has emotionally and physically abused me. I attract them like magnets. I'm used and filthy. No place to stay tonight. Watching others laugh, gather and have fun.
Didn't mean to be a doggie downer. Sure someone will have a problem with that too. Nowhere to go or turn. Please don't say social services as they are next to non existant and dangerous places to be here. Rape and sodomy is the norm there.
Orientation lasted 7 hours. I am exhausted!! I didn't make friends with anyone and didn't talk to anyone. I didn't particularly like anyone I was sitting near. They were kinda ghetto and rude. Talking wto each other when the instructor was speaking to us, on their phones blatantly while the instructor was speaking. So rude! Though the one lady accross from me is someone I will be directly working...
The Council of Aliens say Alien Spaceships will appear in the sky in the future. We do not know exactly when this will happen, but when it does, it will cause people to have different reactions to seeing these craft in the sky. Do not be alarmed. The Aliens are here to help Humans. We must be prepared for this event. Stay calm when this happens and know that everything will be okay.