You are making perfect sense arfie! As a person who has also been trafficked as a child (or prostituted, depending on how you view it), I understand what you mean and I think where you are right now is normal.

Given what a child must do to survive being prostituted/trafficked, we carry physical and mental scars and stigma with us long into adulthood. It's normal, I think, for you to struggle with sexuality and the language that comes with it. I think things such as gender identity, sexuality, and labels are something a prostituted/trafficked child typically carries, and when I went through therapy and support groups for it as a teen, all of the professionals were quick to say this was "normal."

In my journey I went from "object" to "lesbian" to "bisexual." I spent some time confused with my own gender identity and considered gender reassignment surgery because I was not happy viewing myself as a female. I considered surgery because I have several scars from where brands and tattoos used to be, one of which is on my face.

I understand the complexity of triggers; my own reflection has been a trigger for me in my lifetime.

I just wanted to say I guess that I validate your feelings, I understand where you are coming from (to some extent), and I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

I pray you manage to find some peace as you navigate these horribly tricky, triggery waters.

I can't quite grasp it the way you mean it, I suspect, but confusing-trigger sounds about "right", for whatever value that has.

Support as you sort.

yes you are making alot of sense ,, one has to find their own truth after working through all of it,,, and i mean what you went through was just out of the realm of humanity,, i know i had to go through so much therapy before i felt i had resolved my own sexiual identity as a fully functioning adult i think our child parts and we all have inner children who are confused with sex and sexuality in general takes an adult self in healing to be able to be clear and not labeled with someone elses label i am so sorry you were used that way it is very saddening to know your truth you are so awesome and i hurt for your childhood losses it made you the cool person you are what a survivor you are arf

Thanks, guys. The waters sure do get murky in the turbulence. . .

Add political correctness to child prostitution/pornography flashbacks and it feels like a bare necessity (pun intended) to simply excuse myself from the Sexual Declaration Dialogues. Post haste. Opinions not welcome. Not asking permission. Accuse me as you wish. Don't care to evaluate whether the Janes are superior to the Johns or versa vice.

Ouchie powie stuff for me. . . Still need every tool in my therapy box to deal. Reality and psychosis intertwine with ominous ease.

i think i get it and i respect what ever is best for you arf you know what you need better than any of us i am sorry you had a rough go in childhood ouch prayers for you

It's okay if you call it homophobia, or whatever, free. I don't have a better name for it. Wish I didn't need a name for it, at all. My sexually declared siblings, etc., all have colorful names for it. They are good at names. Their unflattering names are all non-judgmental and/or righteous, of course.

Can I be ignorant now?

Guess not. That wish might be the very mechanism of the Trauma Induced Amnesia.

what ever it is not important you have to take care of your needs i get some of what you have been through i give my heart felt compassion and it was very very bad i see that so sorry you were just a child

i support a group at our church against sex trafficking there is just so much dont even put a dent but we have to all do something it is an epidemic i dont blame you for being triggered by sexual stuff of any kind , gentle support to you

By golly, Lilly, I think you hit a bulls-eye on that one.

I "unremembered" to the point of unremembering my entire childhood. The side-effects rival the side-effects of the laudanum which was the miracle med of the 19th century. Not so handy.

Ah, the Catch 22. . . Always something. . .

These days I shoot for figuring out where to file it.