Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I have not been very supportive of anyone lately. I do care....I really do. I have just been caught up in my own stuff. I have been feeling all kinds of emotions that I haven't felt in a long time plus some of the old familiars.
The farther I travel the more I stand still. I have left a couple of groups because it seems I am always triggered and for me being triggered doesn't always mean that I run and hide or cry and shake. often it means I attack. That is where I have been lately. Misdirected mistrust and anger. Doing to others what was done to me; judge and punish.
I am beginning to be able to really talk to my therapist but at the same time I am still dealing with the whole transference issue. I want so badly to trust him and then I open up. Then I go home and worry. I told him stuff; what if he is going to use it against me??? What if he is just tricking me?? Why does he REALLY want me to trust him??
My abusers were all trusted. The betrayal was just as bad , if not worse than the acts they committed. I am feeling raw and unraveled.
I know sometimes i post things in this group that may not strictly belong here but I feel safe here. I feel supported here. Thank you all for that and I hope someday I can get out of my own head and give back.
The farther I travel the more I stand still. I have left a couple of groups because it seems I am always triggered and for me being triggered doesn't always mean that I run and hide or cry and shake. often it means I attack. That is where I have been lately. Misdirected mistrust and anger. Doing to others what was done to me; judge and punish.
I am beginning to be able to really talk to my therapist but at the same time I am still dealing with the whole transference issue. I want so badly to trust him and then I open up. Then I go home and worry. I told him stuff; what if he is going to use it against me??? What if he is just tricking me?? Why does he REALLY want me to trust him??
My abusers were all trusted. The betrayal was just as bad , if not worse than the acts they committed. I am feeling raw and unraveled.
I know sometimes i post things in this group that may not strictly belong here but I feel safe here. I feel supported here. Thank you all for that and I hope someday I can get out of my own head and give back.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Here's cheering you on in all of that therapy work you're doing. I know.
I have issues with trusting my therapist as well. I want to feel better and I want to trust her but every second I am not there, I am worrying about something I said.
I understand about the whole trust issue, and while I try to keep my anger off the boards on DS.... it can show. You see the problem. Like AA says, that is always the first step. Deep breaths, and it's okay to feel like you're moving and standing still simultaneously. I'm there *a lot*!
You're working hard, so give you a hug, okay? OK.
Purrs,
Leo
i'm sorry you're having such a rough time lately.
the give-and-take here is a beautiful thing. i don't think it's selfish or insensitive to not be able to give when down in the blues. take care of you and focus on you.
It was put that way to me by my blind councilor. If I withhold, I am only holding back the help she can give.
J.
I feel like I am so close to figuring something out but it is still elusive. I finally realized that when i read others stories and begin judging that it is a reflection of how i was treated. I was punished and not believed. I feel pretty bad about my attitude. That was part of the reason for few responses to people lately.
I am doing a lot of self questioning and I feel i can't trust myself. I wonder if I am having all these little epiphanies because i am hypomanic or because I am right.
My therapist is away this week and I am anxious about that. I told him I was nervous that he was going away and he said I could email him. I won't intrude on him though. I'm not in danger ...I'm just.....uhhhh....squirrely.
As for being supportive while I am struggling... I can't give what I ain't got. When I keep it honest, I find I am far less likely to need offensive/defensive tactics.
Go easy on yourself, Cecil. Be patient with the process.