Okay first...no, everyone doesn't know "why you're there".

Sure the general subject, but not the specifics.

Maybe you're a student? Maybe your a friend of a victim? Maybe it's about your sister, daughter, mother, cousin? Maybe you want to pick up information packets to distribute. Maybe you're taking classes and doing a rotation through the clinic. Maybe you're trying to sell them a new brand of towels... The "reasons" for being there are endless.

But more than that thinks that it's shameful to be a victim in going to be working there!!!

My friend (who had her own history of incest) worked at a place like that. Most (but NOT all) who work there have a history of some sort of sexual assault.

Well. . . If that makes you a gross individual, that makes me one, too, buttttttaaaa. . . In my own strictly personals, I prefer to think of both of us as a good, decent people who have survived a gross injustice. May the circle one day be broken. Ditto for millions of our co-survivors.

I agree with your CPN. Being able to *just* say it out loud goes a long way to getting it all the way through to my inner child that it is not my/her fault and the shame of it is not ours to bear.

Kudos, Sarah. May it be progress you can build on.

Sarah, I'm very proud of you for taking the courage to do this. I have a lot of hope for you!

They are all there for a reason. It was not your fault. You are the victim just trying to find your way back to level ground. It could be worse.....you could have gotten pregnant and forced to give birth. I have given birth to a son who was fathered by by my bio-dad. Not to be flip but it's really hard. Especially when he takes great fun in broadcasting it. Be thankful for the small things in life.

You've been doing so well and I've been very proud of you. You've got this....with a little help from your friends.

we are here. you are not gross - no way. not making light of how you 'feel' - you feel it and you talk about how you feel here.

all of us who have felt that way know what you mean. it wasn't any of our faults when we were victims- we can know that - you can know it, but it takes processing to 'get' it.

i am proud of you too for going there to get help to get yourself through this part. to process yourself through it, so you CAN feel that you are not what happened to you. it's an important part.

you've got this, like Zoe said, xoxo

There is power in becoming author of your own story, Sarah, that's where the authority over your independent self comes from, because authoring brings authority. In fact, ultimately, that's what therapy is all about, helping you build your survivor life story with self respect. Putting the right words to your story is what an author with authority does.

Putting the right words is naming, and authoring the truth with words like "incest" give you authority that the act took away. You are far from gross, I know how you feel, but trust me that this is empowering to break through the shame. Good for you, my friend.

Thank you every one. I messaged them last noght and can expect to hear back from them in the next few days.

"But more than that thinks that it's"

***edit***

"But more than that, NO ONE that thinks that it's"

(sorry, I must have been having a brain fart when I typed that)

I am so sorry you feel like it is your fault but it is not. I am not a victim but was the one my sister-in-law confided in when she became a victim, and then her younger sister became the victim when the older one stood up for herself. I helped them tell their parents and call out the abuser. I helped them by being there for them when they made their statements to the police. You are not dirty, or at fault, and you have the right for support, you have the right for counseling and you have the right to fight for your life. It takes awhile but keep working forward. One day at a time, one step at a time!

Continued hugs and lots of support. You are a beautiful person from what I learned here.

You're not gross. I understand that feeling though. I feel disgusting ever time I think about talking about it. You are not alone in your struggles. Talking to others who have been through similar experiences really helps.