Hope healing happens here, Kate.

How do the girls feel about this? It sure is hard being caught in the middle of parental conflict and/or mental illness.

It's a lot easier for folks like me to live two whole states away from my primary abusers, Kate, and allow zero contact from them, period. I can't imagine living walking distance from them. Much support to you, Kate. We're here for you.

Thanks folks. Arfie I think they are excited to not deal with the long drives back and forth. They don’t know our history (and they never will because they don’t need to know). I would be less stressed if he was not planning on walking distance to my house.

He also wants them 50% of the time. He routinely returns the girls sick. Yesterday I picked them up at 7pm and they had eaten two chocolate muffins all day and were starving.

The parents of my grandchildren are going through STBX yaddahs these days and I currently share protective custody of the children with the other grandparents. Getting the stressed out children to eat anything whatsoever has been a HUGE challenge for both sets of grandparents.

Healing hopes for all. No exceptions.

Thanks Arfie, I also have them in counseling to help them adjust and work through issues that pop up. It’s helped them a ton thankfully!

Get a pocket calandar and keep track of EVERYTHING that you do for the kids. Doctor's appointsments, school assignments, sports, buying the clothes, buying them school supplies, white turtlenecks needed for winter concert. All of the times they were sick (ran 103 fever), and what you did (stayed up all night with Olivia), playdates (mary going to sue's from 1 to 3), etc, etc, etc. All the stuff that you have to have for school, supplies, poster board, etc. Keeping track of their reading logs, homework....

Most judges default to 50-50 custody to start with, but once you've given it up...it's usually much harder to get it back.

And yeah, keep track of the muffins. That's not okay. During the initial weeks...yeah, it happens, but you're long past the divorce being finalized.

***My kids ate chocolate muffins for breakfast at one vacation at the beach...they loved it. Yesterday my daughter lectured me on how it was all cake. (Yes, darling, I know...it was vacation...I let you get away with it.)***



I'm not bad at reading between the lines. If I thought Muffin Man really wanted more time with his kids...my response would be different. I think he's trying to ditch child support. What he doesn't get...is that as expensive as child support is...that it's the deal of the century as far as getting someone else to raise your kids.

Get the notebook...I've known it to save more than one person in court. Good luck.

Thanks Patti! Encouraging to hear. I spent time last week pulling together a spreadsheet of medical bills I have paid and not been reimbursed for ($2800 without inclusion of pediatrician and counseling bills for this year). Yes, I have bought all of their shoes, school clothes, school supplies, school activity fees, school lunches, and have paid over $12000 for kids activities to his $3600. I drive them somewhere every evening to activities they want to participate in, and they have maintained straight A’s since he moved away. He explained to their counselor that they didn’t need counseling and he wasn’t going to pay for it. I have emails documenting this interaction. I guess I just need to pull it together. It definitely feels like he simply doesn’t want to pay for child support. He even explained to the kids that it would be cheaper for me if he had them half the time because I wouldn’t have to buy them food!