Sadly much of "pride", "ridiculousness" and so on is really "rationalizations".

Oops, bad spell auto correct. I meant "righteousness" not "ridiculousness".

Well, now I have *that* stuck in my head....

Hmmm....

And who judges "right" anyway? Kindness is much more universally recognized as kindness than "rightness"....

Yea, it is a wicked one to have caught in your head. I woke up in the middle of the night with it ricocheting through my cranium and it is still there.

I am still quieting residuals of the obsessive thought loops that started with the verbal attack from my husband the Sunday before last. I am taking it as a reminder to keep it gentle and compassionate.

Strike up Twilight Zone theme...

Just got a call from one of my sisters about the severely alcoholic sister whose age is between ours. In our tribe of 11 siblings, the three of us were known as, "The Middle Kids." Our drunken sis is in the hospital with a yet to be identified infection. The sister who updated me agrees. We can be right or we can be helpful...

Prayers in progress.

And prayers for you and those for whom you pray....

arfie, Prayers for you. In the lifetime it's taken me to try and understand my alcoholic mom, etc,etc,etc....there came a time recently when I found out she was put in an assisted living place...I've been far away and N/C for many years. When I found out I felt such Fear...for her...it gob-smacked me out of nowhere....she did not have her alcohol...to self-medicate, so she must be very afraid...made me cry! The fear I had always had Of her....now was fear For her.....it allowed me to pray for her, that she would not be afraid...is that what it means to come *full circle*?? I still don't know!!

Arfie, I love your new pooch :-)

I'm sorry to hear about your sis and am sending good thoughts your way.

As for the Kindness over Right. I struggle with that. I expect a hell of a lot of "rightness" out of myself and almost as much from others. I know I shouldn't be like that. In my case it truly isn't out of meanness or cruelty but because I grew up without any good examples of kindness. I was rather adrift in the world from a young age so I developed "rules" based on honesty and "rightness". I often have to remind myself which is more important.

Gentle validation, cheesecake. I relate to that on a soul deep level. The profound reaction to seeing childhood terrors reduced to sick, pathetic old wretches really, really is hard to explain. I don't know if being able to pray for the welfare of people who have hurt me is coming full circle, or not. I do know it has helped relieve me of the toxic acids of resentment and hate. It remains a hard, hard step to accomplish, but the truly worthwhile steps usually are hard. If it was easy, everybody would do it. I admire your evolution.

Cecil, my first taste of security was Army boot camp. It has been said that I can use the truth like a grenade launcher. Don't know which is more destructive: pointing it inward or outward. Either way, it remains a struggle for me, as well.

DoooO, "Right with kindness" is a personal goal of mine. I am coming to believe that silence is even better. I am beginning to believe that if I stay compassionately true to what I believe is right while I hold myself silent, the rest has room to fall into place on its own.

Thanks for the help in sorting, guys. It is confusing stuff for me.