Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I am 46 yrs old. from the time of my birth til the age of 5 I was physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually abused. the state finally came in and removed us from the home which separated me from 7 out of 8 of my siblings. 6 years ago I made contact with my father and made amend just days before he died. then I began talking to my biological mother. I talk to her cause I believe its the Christian thing to do. the problem is she still lies and plays mind games and tries to manipulate the relationship. I have come to dread her calls. my one brother who I only met once, was murdered when I was 9. 3 yrs ago I found and met my one sister. she was evil and abusive. haven't talked to or seen her since then. in the last 5 weeks I have located the other 5 sibling. 3 sisters and 2 brothers. one sister and one brother live in the same state as I do. sister is 45 minutes away and brother is 2 hrs. then two sisters and other brother live tin different state as I do but the 3 of them live in same state. they live 10 hrs from me. I am planning to go those 3 in almost a month. so many emotions from excited, scared, angry, anxious, uncertain, on guard, happy and so many more. I have been experiencing more ptsd symptoms like nightmares but only if I can sleep which is rarely any more, panic attacks and cutting urges which haven't been a problem for awhile, flashbacks, disassociating, isolation and withdrawl, and my eating disorder is running wild. I barely eat at all.im weak, tired, irritable, lightheaded even blacking out, very low blood sugars and seem sick all the time. I really want to meet my siblings and bond and heal. I want answers but am scared at same time. how can I make this a positive healing experience and lasting?
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
Also set an alarms to eat something at certain points in the day. Most cell phone will let you program in 4-5 alarms a day A banana or apple? Cheese or PBJ sandwich. These are for in between regular meals.
Your body does a funny thing when you don't eat, it shut's off the hungry alerts. After that it's organs. Like a hibernation mode, which includes the concentration factor. Once it gets used to a schedule,it will remind you to eat with tummy growls. So set the alarm on phone and keep easy eats handy. exercise added in with the alarms that que your body to want fuel(food) too. Just a brisk walk 10-15 minutes,is enough.
You gave three weeks to set this in motion before the visit, so you can make it to the visit.
Have fun and cheers with a fruit smoothie!
Jewells.
I am 450 miles awy from 99 percent of my blood family (Mom lives with me).... and I only regret the distance with about 3 percent of 'em. It is very hard to get into a mode of feeling safe communicating with people who might tell you things you find harmful or painful (whether or not they mean it to be). So just take baby steps, set up a food-and-move schedule as I call it in our house, and remember: You have the power. You have the control. You can always say "Later is better" if you need more time to take care of you and get you to a solid footing first.
Gentle smiles,
Leo
I love that you're connecting with your siblings. They've been messed up by the same terrible experiences you faced, so I wouldn't expect "normal" from them. My husband was adopted out of a dysfunctional home as an infant so didn't get scarred by them. Now that he's in his 50s, he's been reunited with the only remaining sibling, a sister, who has been through a lot. She's gotten counseling, however, so is stable. Found out his other sibling killed himself. It was sad learning all that happened to them, but his sister was so grateful to have found her brother and still have some family left. It was very helpful for her to have my husband now in her life, even though he was taken at birth and she never knew him. I suspect you'd be a tremendous blessing to your siblings, so I hope that works out for you! Hugs to you!
It's a good example, as anything else that feeds your self esteem, your worth, by giving yourself a pat on the back. Job well done! They will mimic that and treat themselves with respect.
BTW my daughter has 6 kids and a set of 8 yr old twins.
They will mimic that and treat themselves with respect.
As for the sibs...
Remember they were there too, just at a different angle on the view. Also they did not do the damage, no need to carry that burden. If you can keep it simple. Ask not to rehash the stuff when you get there ( that's easier done behind a keyboard) But that you just want to get to know them as they are now and vise versa. No expectations, then there will be no preconceived idea of "fixing" to be done.
Keep your connection to the internet handy, come here to check in and bounce ideas off on. Or just document the experience. It might be helpful to see the changes a year from now.
Muji did this when he went to Uruguay over the summer. He says it helped a lot.
Most of all relax, and make sure you ticket is a two way trip. Leave when you are ready.
Jewells.
These hands were made for drawing lol.
J.
Somewhere in those early efforts to reconnect I had a dream so vivid that I could easily believe it was more than a dream. During this dream the disembodied voice that was carrying me about the dreamscapes told me, "Parting the Red Sea was child's play compared to parting the bloody fields between estranged family members."
In the decades since my efforts haven't come anywhere near a Norman Rockwell moment. The government has put together task forces to do away with our Kodak moments. Is it worth it? I honestly do not know. My knowledge says, "Prosecute Post Haste!" My faith says, "Healing takes time, patience and tolerance."
I have no resolution to offer. Just healing hopes? I hope?
Our respective families remain disconnected. Even on Facebook. No Likes for us. Yet.