I repressed the memory of attempting suicide for almost 30 years. I was so unsure that it was an actual memory I had to confirm it with someone. Fortunately the friend that pulled the knife from my hand was renting a room from me when the memory came back.

Wow. Lucky you had someone who could confirm that for you. Apparently the only way for it to stop effecting you is to work through it.

Hi, P2. Welcome to the forum.

I repressed memory of my entire childhood, good, bad and indifferent, for allot of years. I was dx'ed with, "Trauma Induced Amnesia" in 1974 and asked, "Why are you saying, "Amnesia" like it is a bad thing? I just want the nightmares, etc., to go away." You already have more clues than I did at that point. Denial is a potent blinder. I did not start taking my amnesia therapy seriously until the late 80's when my every one of my forced solutions were erupting in psychotic breaks.

I am still hoping for surgical solutions which will remove affected parts while I sleep, but doing better since I started working with what is available instead of holding out for my preferred ideals.

When I got into therapy and things spilled out, I kicked myself for repressing memories from my teen years. But I was busy running away from home at 17 to survive, so that idea of "healthy denial" was what I needed to apply to get the job done. I did live with this bottled up sense of dread, though, that I couldn't understand. So when in safety and in the context of a therapist's office we took the cap off of the bottle and it all spilled, it was a real relief. But kicking myself was unfair. I had bottled it up and carried it that way because I needed to. Much support to you as you cope with that.

Yes, and for me I'm glad that they're gone. I got some independent confirmation a couple times. Enough to know it's real, enough to know that I'm happy not remembering.

Yeah. As far as my trauma I would push it down, and every time I would remember it again I would push it down because I didn't want to deal with it. Until I absolutely had to. Until I couldn't run away from it anymore.
I know the feeling and I'm just here to voice my support to you :) welcome to the group, p25p20.

I hear you. I get that feeling periodically. It is very unsettling. I have to walk through my day (last few days) and remember everything and then I am satisfied that it is just a crazy feeling and not indicative of something I truly forgot.
I do agree that seeing a counselor to see if there is something bottled up would be a great idea. The feeling is not a pleasant one. Bless you!