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Still haven't left Mena. There are great blackberries, prime picking, in the drainage ditch between the motel and the Walmart. My support dog loves that ditch!! The blackberries are nummy. . .
I've been trying to remember my therapy pros. I have been in therapy more than 2/3 of my silver-haired life. That be ALLOT of pros. I am not even certain any of them are speaking the same language. I can translate between Mandarin (my newest language study) and German (my weakest language) more easily than I can translate between 1972 psychology and 2015 psychology.
This morning I am focusing on trying to remember the man who told me about "Trauma Induced Amnesia" in 1974. My head fills with painful pressure centers when I try to recall his image. Ouch. My support dog is being a real bitch. . . Quit nagging me, will ya???
It seems to flow better when I let go of that attempt and let him be Hawkeye Pierce. As Hawkeye Pierce, I find my thoughts moving easily away from his concessions to CINCUSAEUR Headquarters to the Viet Nam M.A.S.H. Units where he formed his theories that civilian shell shock and GI shell shock were only different by the combat training. Well. . . He also theorated that babies shock more deeply than grown men.
In 1974 the VA was still calling combat PTSD, "Shell Shock."
Still, I feel too unstable to drive. The chair in this motel room reminds me of my Aunt's "Blue Lazy Girl" chair. I slept in that chair for a week the very week I met my aunt on my way back to Texas after my father's ?funeral?
Thoughts and reality checks welcome. Even needed.
I've been trying to remember my therapy pros. I have been in therapy more than 2/3 of my silver-haired life. That be ALLOT of pros. I am not even certain any of them are speaking the same language. I can translate between Mandarin (my newest language study) and German (my weakest language) more easily than I can translate between 1972 psychology and 2015 psychology.
This morning I am focusing on trying to remember the man who told me about "Trauma Induced Amnesia" in 1974. My head fills with painful pressure centers when I try to recall his image. Ouch. My support dog is being a real bitch. . . Quit nagging me, will ya???
It seems to flow better when I let go of that attempt and let him be Hawkeye Pierce. As Hawkeye Pierce, I find my thoughts moving easily away from his concessions to CINCUSAEUR Headquarters to the Viet Nam M.A.S.H. Units where he formed his theories that civilian shell shock and GI shell shock were only different by the combat training. Well. . . He also theorated that babies shock more deeply than grown men.
In 1974 the VA was still calling combat PTSD, "Shell Shock."
Still, I feel too unstable to drive. The chair in this motel room reminds me of my Aunt's "Blue Lazy Girl" chair. I slept in that chair for a week the very week I met my aunt on my way back to Texas after my father's ?funeral?
Thoughts and reality checks welcome. Even needed.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
CINCUSAEUR: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commanding_General,_United_States_Army_Europe
Just in case anybody is curious.
FWIW. Kinda scared for my grip on reality here in the Ouachita Mountains. Praying I am only in that getting worse before it gets better phase. I am eating well --for me. The blackberries were as nummy today as they were yesterday. If I am translating correctly, my support dog said, "No, thanks. A good smelling boy dog left a present for me here while he was looking for the ultimate spot to pee."
Translation is a tricky art. . .
Ain't spurting no exes. I leave that to the experts. Just my personal, just a patient theory. The easing of those "pressure centers" is my clue that I am on the right track.
I first met the published theories which gave me the image for the "neural responses" in 1998 while I was researching my eldest son's brand new Narcolepsy dx. The papers were being published in Swedish and translated to English. I learned to read Swedish to keep up as best I could.
Allot of translating has gone down since 1998. I am not all the way certain (currently under the influence of PTSD flashbacks), but I think these are the same folks.
http://suls.se/2014/11/09/new-knowledge-human-brains-plasticity/