Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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The community mental health center I've been treated at for 12 years is having me fill out the initial paperwork as if I were a new patient. The questions I'm having to contemplate and answer are all tearing my insides out as each memory brings up the emotions that I felt when the trauma and abuse happened. Today all I want to do is sleep. The forms are due tomorrow so I must do them (I've been avoiding them for a month) but I'm going to nap and do more later. My nightmares last night were definitely from having to re-live and reveal 53 years of life. I am having all this anger at my father and mother. I cannot address it at all as my father is dead and my mother is so old and disabled....and she refuses to remember---claims none of it ever happened. Fortunately, my sister told me my mom asked her about it all, as I went off one night, reminding her of all she did and continues to do and my sister told me, "I remember" "It happened" "You are not crazy".
Well, of course I am crazy, but I didn't get here alone.
Well, of course I am crazy, but I didn't get here alone.
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Sometimes, I think I have ODD. I can be oppositional. It seems that the only times that I feel like cleaning are when I should be doing something else or I have to go somewhere. Well, not everytime but most of the time. Yesterday, I was supposed to be doing online training for work but instead, I decided to work on my kitchen table. Most of the time, I don't know where to start and give...
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I have a possible new diagnosis to discuss with my therapist tomorrow. It might be the answer to a question that I have had since I was 19. It's called Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD). It happens to a large percentage of people with ADHD, which I have. Actually, I have been watching videos about ADD/ADHD lately. I remember my Mom telling me that she watched a show on ADD and she...
I tell myself ____
Sniff, sniff, sigh...
None of us arrive at crazy alone. We don't have to carry it alone, either. Keep venting, friend.
How terribly awful, sad but hysterical! I'm glad you got insurance and are doing better! Thanks for writing.
"All the platitudes in my considerable collection can't seem to console me". Great writing. Great substance. But so sad.
I know just what I mean. Again, thank you. Those words alone
made me know that someone understands.
I'm so very sorry. Yes, getting it all down in black and white, and having to remember just everything, dealing with your own issues and your daughter's would be SO overwhelming.
I understand about the point of issues running through your family---me too. I think that it can be genetic & definitely cyclical.
I wish it didn't make you feel bad about yourself. It didn't begin with you nor will it end with you, unfortunately.