You are not alone in this, show yourself love. It takes time for the pain to subside, I still get flashbacks here and there but they're not as often or bad. I know the closing feeling and instant panic during these, I can't quit shaking myself but they always pass and soon they will be gone all together. Have you been able to confront your rapist at all?

Flashbacks and being triggered by things that remind you of it will get better but it takes working through it. It would be good to talk to a therapist. Just know you're not alone.

Hi Clara. Welcome to the forum. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

There is not a doubt in my just-a-patient mind that those flashbacks and anxiety attacks are the worst of PTSD. They bite the big one. Mine never have the decency to warn me before they hit and I have yet to find a magic just to make them go away. I still feel sucker-punched each and every time they hit.

The good news is that sharing about them within my therapy network, most especially in my peer support groups, makes them easier to bear. Still not easy, but easier helps.

Hope you feel safe to share here, Clara. Welcome aboard.

So sorry. My sexual assaults came when I was 10, in my own bed in my own home. So for a long time I never felt at ease just going to bed again at home and I developed a lot of insomnia at a young age, with flashbacks and nightmares.

Even now at 58 I take Prazosin for nightmares, and it really helps. I did a lot of therapy, too, that was the most helpful of all. I tell everybody here that I pass on the tips from Pete Walker that I was give when I first came here to DS PTSD. His flashbacks management tips help me still.

http://pete-walker.com/flashbackManagement.htm

I have memories and flashbacks from first memory till I was 20. Flashbacks are fully sensory. It's like living it all over again. There are some good books out there on DBT. Quite a bit on derailing the flashbacks before they take hold. Like Muji I take Prazosin for the nightmares. You can come here and talk about your memories. This is a wonderful group of supportive people. If you do, just put a TW (trigger warning) in the subject box. Lots of support and hugz.

hi Clara, i'm so glad you came here to talk about this with us. this is the best place and you are not alone any more. gentle hugs, Lilly

If you uncomfortable around other people, a good start would be with some kind of counseling. I have experienced many traumas and have realized I need to get more help to even become comfortable with myself. You are not alone in these issues

So sorry for all you have been through. Good for you for sharing and opening up, I find that helps.

I have flashbacks and nightmares all the time. I don't know how to get rid of them yet, but I'm seeing a counselor. And I totally understand just wanting to be normal. You look at everyone else and it seems like they just have normal teen problems, while your carrying this awful secret. It's not fair!