Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Hi Everyone,
A month ago most of my emotions and things that happened to me as a child were locked away, it had been this way my whole life.
This past month I have experienced emotions that I had never felt before. All these feeling have made me want to just be by myself for a month. Yesterday at counseling I couldn't contain myself, my hands were shaking. I couldn't even look at my counselor, I was afraid i was going to lose it. These emotions are all so new! I don't know how to manage them and they are embarrassing. Today I completely loss all composure. I sat in my car and cried for a good long time. Prior to this week I rarely ever cried. I have been in a lot of pain but i'm excited for the healing thats coming.
The flashbacks that I have received have been bazar. They have been so vivid to the point were I feel like a child and I can remember what things felt like, smelled, and looked like in the flashback. The other night I received one of these flashbacks in the middle of the night and I cried uncontrollably from that little girl stand point. I calmed myself down and longed for someone to comfort me.
Now that I am going through this stage of healing I hurt for all of you that have gone through this process. I understand how lonely it is. I understand what its like to have no one understand what you are going through. I genuinely feel for you guys and I am so sorry this happened to you.
I am sure I will be on DS more. Since 2009, when I was still in my abusive home, I have kept my distance from the forums and people who could help me(i was afraid to open up, still am, but I am ready to open up anyways). Its time for me to accept the PTSD and go through it. I am going to try to be more involved on the forum. I am excited to get to know you guys. I have watched from a distance and you guys have been so friendly and supportive for each other and I think I want to join this family.
Thanks for the support,
Renee
A month ago most of my emotions and things that happened to me as a child were locked away, it had been this way my whole life.
This past month I have experienced emotions that I had never felt before. All these feeling have made me want to just be by myself for a month. Yesterday at counseling I couldn't contain myself, my hands were shaking. I couldn't even look at my counselor, I was afraid i was going to lose it. These emotions are all so new! I don't know how to manage them and they are embarrassing. Today I completely loss all composure. I sat in my car and cried for a good long time. Prior to this week I rarely ever cried. I have been in a lot of pain but i'm excited for the healing thats coming.
The flashbacks that I have received have been bazar. They have been so vivid to the point were I feel like a child and I can remember what things felt like, smelled, and looked like in the flashback. The other night I received one of these flashbacks in the middle of the night and I cried uncontrollably from that little girl stand point. I calmed myself down and longed for someone to comfort me.
Now that I am going through this stage of healing I hurt for all of you that have gone through this process. I understand how lonely it is. I understand what its like to have no one understand what you are going through. I genuinely feel for you guys and I am so sorry this happened to you.
I am sure I will be on DS more. Since 2009, when I was still in my abusive home, I have kept my distance from the forums and people who could help me(i was afraid to open up, still am, but I am ready to open up anyways). Its time for me to accept the PTSD and go through it. I am going to try to be more involved on the forum. I am excited to get to know you guys. I have watched from a distance and you guys have been so friendly and supportive for each other and I think I want to join this family.
Thanks for the support,
Renee
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Perhaps you can talk to your therapist about what to do if you get triggered in the night and how to recognize you are getting triggered so you can calm yourself down? For me, I get angry and muscle tension. Sometimes I catch it, other times I in a full on crisis before I even know I am gone.
We are hear to listen if you need talk. I know I have been leaning on the DS group a lot lately as I try and find my way out of the weeds of PTSD. They are a great group and very supportive
((hugs))
2009!!! Wow!!! Does that make you one of the founding members? I have been on a couple of proof-of-boredom searches to discover the history of DS. I must not have been too bored because the closest I found to a history is the copyright date of 2006, just a few years shy of your start. Just curious. You know what THEY say about curiosity. . .
Anyhoo. . .
Welcome to the forum. Yes, PTSD is a beast. May you find effective ways to train your beast here.
When you mentioned smell in your list of flashback symptoms I almost leapt up out of my chair, because that's a big one for me. My therapist says that the sense of smell is, of all of the 5 senses, the one most directly related to memory in the brain.
Other experiences like shaking during a therapy session, taking to crying in the car when previously we didn't cry at all, those all sound familiar, too. I don't say they're familiar to minimize them at all, but just to say that here you're speaking our language. We get it.
One or two of us here are more advanced than I am with issues about healing the "inner child." I love learning from what they post here because my PTSD came during my child development years, so I heal better and faster when I know how to go back there positively.
Much support to you. This is a good group. Glad you joined us.
Reply 1 I dont want to call you crazy lol, what do people on here normally call you?
I am sorry you have to go through this as well! Although its unfortunate, know that I am in the spot you are and I am here for you.
I will need to get a new counselor that specializes in PTSD or step it up and tell my counselor what works and whats not the best for me. About 2 weeks ago the memories came in like the flood gates were opened. My counselor is trying to slow things down so I can manage life right now. You gave me some good things to think about.((hugs))
Lilly- Thank you, I already feel very welcomed here! I am appreciative for the variety of people and experiences here. I am sure itll be nice and interesting getting to know you guys. I have been reading your posts so I think I know more about you guys then you know of me :) hehe. (hug)
Arfie- I feel like I have been on DS for a long time! I am not a founding member but when I started it seemed as if every one was new. It was like a community then, we had chat and some people would be on here more to date than get support.
Muji- I am glad to know that I belong here. Thanks for making me feel accepted. It helps a lot to know that you guys can relate. In the more vivid flashbacks I can smell the air or even as far as taste.
Mad pride, yo. Represent!
*strikes pose*