Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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Hello all, I am a new foster parent and I need some advise. I currently fostering 2 siblings 13 year old boy and a 9 year old girl. They both been in and out of the system their entire lives and have may emotional issues. Last week the department of human services said it is unsafe for the children to be together as they found many bumps and bruises on the 9 year old girl one of her school counselors has reported it.
They did a forced respite for the 13 year old for a few days and now they switched and the girl is gone. Both children are scared because they been through this before and had bad experiences when this happens being split up. The 9 year old had a twin brother that his life was ended when the department split all the kids up...
Both kids have been under a lot of stress lately due to their biological father messing up not making appointments and so many meetings with the department and counselors and so many forced respites. These kids operate best under a routine and if that routine gets off their emotions come out and they do tend to fight with one another but it's not that serious or threatening. Both children have strong abandonment issues. And many more. It is very difficult telling these children that they cannot be together.
The department now wants to consider splitting the two up in separate foster homes. I feel like that is the worst decision ever since that is all they have left.. is each other. Most of the bumps and bruises are self-inflicted by either just playing or just being clumsy. I know she just loves to tell others about her injuries as she is very proud of them and I do know she says they are worse then they are. I am with these kids all the time, they are never left alone.
How can I prevent the department tearing up this family any more than it has? How can I tell the department that They made things worse and how can I tell the 9 year old that she can still trust her counselor at school. I feel that the department has made a huge mistake and overreacted to quickly without investigating first.
I know, then, that the system can be manipulated, and even then that it can still be both helpful and harmful. Plus, I recognize that if we didn't have social services today we'd still have to invent a system like that because we can't do nothing at all.
It's maddening, though, to try to make the system responsive to our families. I'm sending you my support as I write this, because I know it's going to take a lot for you to get satisfaction when it comes to care for your loved ones in this.